


Project: Winters daughter

by Princessleia9977



Series: Winter's Trials [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angry Bucky Barnes, Child Abuse, Child Soldiers, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hydra (Marvel), Murder, PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve, SHIELD, Science Experiments, Search, Sexual Assault, Unbeta'd, WWII flashbacks, alexander pierce is a dick, cruel hydra, dad bucky, daughter - Freeform, mission, non con medical experiments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6119962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princessleia9977/pseuds/Princessleia9977
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“HYDRA wanted to recreate Bucky’s serum,” began Natasha, “originally they had wanted to make a clone, but that didn’t pan out. So they turned to more “traditional methods.”<br/>The more she talked the more Steve wanted to retch.<br/>He stared down at the red-faced newborn in the picture and traced his finger over the tiny face. This kid was Bucky’s. Bucky had a kid that was created by HYDRA and he didn’t even know it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

February 18, 2000  
Ukraine

 

Alexander Pierce wrinkled his nose up in disgust upon the sight of the mewling infant. Her face was red and scrunched up and she was wailing at the top of her lungs. No matter how young or vulnerable she was, it couldn’t distract him from the fact that she was not what he had wanted at all.

 

Hydra had wanted to recreate the super-soldier serum, and they had 70 years ago. But it had escaped in the form of James Buchanan Barnes, and it seemed as though all of Zola’s work had been for nothing. Then something truly miraculous happened. Sergeant Barnes had fallen from the train and right into the hands of the enemy. They had foraged him into a perfect weapon, he was one of their most prized possessions. But he was not immortal, he was susceptible to damage and death. This made them realize that they needed to recreate the serum at all costs. 

Originally they had wanted to clone the Asset, but the results were flawed, forcing them to turn back to the drawing board.  
That’s when one of their best scientist, Charles Levine, had come up with the idea to recreate the serum through his offspring. It had seemed like a brilliant idea, surely the serum would be passed from father to child, or so they thought. 

 

The little girl that had been born only a matter of minutes ago hadn’t inherited her father’s serum, much to their disbelief. She was just an ordinary little baby, and it angered Pierce. What purpose would she serve him now? They had wanted to replicate the serum to create super-soldier, more assets, that type of stuff. Of course she still could be trained as an assassin, albeit not an enhanced one. She probably wouldn’t be anywhere as good as her father, but there was still so much potential.

“What would you like done with her?” asked the man next to him. Pierce continued to study the crying infant.

“We’ll keep her for now, she may be of some use to us in the future,” he said grabbing onto her tiny little hand, “after all, she is the assets daughter.


	2. Chapter 1

After the events at the Triskelion and the fall of SHIELD, Steve had set out to find his best friend with the help of Sam. They had followed the trail of dead HYDRA agents and destroyed bases. Bucky was on a warpath of revenge and discovery, which was not really surprising. And Steve understood why. 70 years of memories and life had been stolen from Bucky, he had been brainwashed and forced to do things for them. It was no surprise when dead HYDRA agents started popping up, and it left Steve and Sam with a nice trail to follow. They knew Bucky’s motive and had started to see a pattern in the direction the killings were going. He was looking for information, anything that HYDRA had done to him and all the things he had done.

 

It was December of that year when Bucky came back. Steve was coming back from a New Year’s Eve party, not failing to notice his apartment door cracked open. He had walked in to find Bucky sitting at his table helping himself to a sandwich from the fridge. Upon seeing his best friend Steve had lowered his protective stance and stared in shock at the man who resembled a sad hobo rather than the dashing GI he had served in the war with. His hair was even longer than the last time, and was matted and greasy. He obviously hadn’t shaved in a while, and he had the beard to prove it. He had large bags under his eyes and it looked like he hadn’t had a decent meal in a long time.  
“Bucky?” he asked cautiously lowering his shield.  
Bucky looked up at him with a dauntingly familiar look in his eyes, “hey Steve,” he whispered, probably more to himself.  
“What do you-?”  
“Remember?” said Bucky taking another bite of the sandwich, “most everything.”  
Steve came to stand in front of his friend, almost not believing that it was really him. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, it was Bucky, more or less. But all that mattered to Steve was that he was here and that he had come back to him.  
“I tried to look for you.”  
“I know,” he said simply.  
“You left quite the trail,” said Steve.  
“I needed answers, Steve.”  
“Did you get them?” asked Steve.  
“Not as much as I would’ve liked.”  
“Don’t worry Buck, I’m sure there’s more information out there. We just have to find it.”  
Bucky gave him a sad half smile before picking up the half eaten sandwich again.  
“I sure hope you plan on cleaning this up,” Steve joked as he surveyed the mess that went into the sandwich.  
“I don’t even know how you survive punk, there’s no food in this apartment,” the joke flew from his mouth freely, and it felt foreign to Bucky, but at the same time it felt natural.  
“Yeahhhh, it has been awhile since I’ve been grocery shopping,” admitted Steve, “in fact I don’t know how old that meat is.”  
Bucky stopped mid-bite and examined his sandwich before dumping it in the trashcan, “and you mention that now.”  
Steve laughed, and for the first time in months it was actually natural. And it felt good.

 

Slowly things settled down into a semi-normal routine for the two super-soldiers over the course of the next few weeks. Although Bucky was not the same man, he was no longer the Winter Soldier, he was someone in-between. Sometimes he would act just like he would’ve 70 years ago, and other times he would lock himself in his room and not talk to Steve for days. But he was making progress, and that was good.  
He had started to take better care of his hygiene, shaving his beard and taking regular showers. He had trimmed his hair, it was still long but not matted or greasy anymore.

Once in a while Steve would get a call about another HYDRA base and was tasked with clearing it out with the Avengers. Once in a while Bucky would join them and others times he wouldn’t, mostly it was for the files that they had. They searched for anything about him or what they had done to him in those 7 decades, and to everyone’s dismay, not much was found. Steve wasn’t expecting to find much more information, so it surprised him when Natasha called him early one Sunday regarding information on the Winter Soldier. Apparently they had finished going through the files collected at the last HYDRA base in Ukraine, Steve remembered the stack of files that they had found, but none of them seemed to pertain to Bucky.  
“I just got a call from Natasha,” said Steve to Bucky, who was sitting on the couch watching tv, “I’m going to meet up with her.  
“Okay,” he said not even sparing him a glance as he watched the colored screen. Steve smirked as he watched his friend, at one point that had been him. Now that Bucky was no longer the Winter Soldier he could discover all the wonders of the 21st century like color TV and wireless phones. Steve grinned as he remembered showing him an IPhone, which he poked at for 2 hours in wonder.  
“There’s money on the counter, feel free to order take out,” said Steve as he walked out the door.

Steve was in a good mood as he drove through the city on his motorcycle with his shield on his back. People stopped to stare in wonder as the Avenger stopped at a light. He would smiled and wave to the people and kiddies who would stop and wave. He was in a good mood that day and he felt as though nothing could bring him down, not even an army of Chitauri dropping out of the sky.

“You found something Natasha?” he asked seating himself across from Fury and the redhead.  
Guessing from the look they both gave each other, it was most definitely something.  
“We found information pertaining to the Winter Soldier in the files brought back from the last mission,” said Natasha handing him a file that was written in Russian.  
“It means Little Winter,” she said folding her hands in her lap anxiously.  
Confusion spread over Steve’s features as he opened up the file only to be met with a picture of an infant. Something clicked in Steve followed by a sick feeling, he prayed to God it wasn’t what he thought it was.  
“HYDRA wanted to recreate Bucky’s serum,” began Natasha, “originally they had wanted to make a clone, but that didn’t pan out. So they turned to more “traditional methods.”  
The more she talked the more Steve wanted to retch.  
He stared down at the red-faced newborn in the picture and traced his finger over the tiny face. This kid was Bucky’s. Bucky had a kid that was created by HYDRA and he didn’t even know it.  
“When?” he asked hoarsely.  
“She was born on February 18, 2000,” replied Natasha.  
So Bucky had a daughter, a daughter who turned fifteen last week, a daughter created by HYDRA, and worst of all they didn’t know where or who she was.  
“It seemed as though their attempts had failed,” said Fury, finally deciding to speak up.  
“How so?”  
“She was born with no trace of the serum, but HYDRA apparently had decided to keep her instead of disposing of her. I guess they thought she might prove handy in the future.”

Steve was angered by the whole situation. HYDRA had violated his friend and took something important from him, and this little girl had been nothing but an experiment in their eyes. Was she ever been shown love? Was she even alive? Did Bucky ever even have an idea? All these questions nagged at Steve as he continued to stare into her innocent brown eyes, they weren’t Bucky’s blue eyes, but they had that look in them that was trademark of the Barnes family.

“We have to find her,” he said sternly. He had to find his best friends daughter, he had to save her.  
“We’ll try our best to locate her, Captain,” said Fury.  
“Not try, we will find her.”  
“There’s no guarantee that she’s even alive, and if she is we have no idea where she is or what condition she’s in.”  
“You know that once Buck knows he’s not going to stop until she’s found, right?” asked Steve.  
At his words, Natasha and Fury exchanged sullen looks.  
“Oh come on! You weren’t seriously considering not telling him?!” yelled Steve.  
“We will, just maybe not right now,” said Natasha, “he’s in a delicate position right now and we can’t afford to lose him again.”  
“This isn’t about you guys losing him, this is about his daughter! His flesh and blood who he has a right to know about!” Steve was most definitely pissed off as of right now. 

So he reached across the table and snatched the file up before storming out of the conference room.  
He was angry and pissed off at everything that had just happened, he really needed to let off a little steam. So he made his way to the gym to take out his anger on a punching bag.  
He was in the process of doing just this when Sam walked in and whistled, “I’d hate to be in the bags position as of right now.”  
Steve huffed out as he stopped and reached for his water bottle taking a swig and wiping the sweat off his face.  
“What’s up man?” asked Sam as he dumped his bag on the bench.  
So Steve ended up relaying the story he had just been told to Sam.  
“Wow. That’s pretty fucked up if you’re asking me,” said Sam after hearing the story, “you gonna tell him?”  
“Of course I am. I just don’t know how. I mean it’s not like I can just go up and tell him that he has a daughter that was created by HYDRA and that we have no idea who or where she is.”  
“Yeah, probably not the best way to go about things,” said Sam.  
“He’s not gonna take this well,” said Steve running a hand through his hair.  
“Hell no he’s not, I mean would you be if you were in his position?”  
“I most definitely would not,” admitted Steve.  
“Neither would I, but you gotta tell him before he learns it elsewhere.”  
“I know it’s a lot to ask Sam-“  
“If you’re about to ask me if I’ll help you find her than the answer is yes, of course I’ll help you find her. Nobody deserves this, let alone a fucking child.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late by the time Steve got home, so he quietly made his way in not knowing if Bucky was already in bed or not.  
“There’s takeout on the counter if you’re hungry,” said Bucky coming out of his room with a towel draped around his shoulders and his long hair wet.  
True to his words, there was Chinese sitting on the counter just calling Steve’s name. But no matter how hungry he was, there were other more important matters to discuss.  
“Do you remember the files recovered from the HYDRA base in Ukraine?”  
Bucky paused at his words and nodded slowly, his blue eyes darkening, “did they find something?”  
“Yeah, Buck, they found something,” Steve said holding up the file. Bucky went to reach for it, obviously wanting to see the information inside but Steve pulled his hand away.  
“Promise me you won’t freak out or go on a murdering rampage when you read this?” Steve pleaded.  
Bucky’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as he nodded his head, “I won’t,” he said reaching out for the file. Steve cautiously handed the file to Bucky and seemed reluctant to let it go.  
What could be so bad about the file?  
“I’m so sorry Buck.”  
Bucky looked down at the file name, confusion spreading through him.  
Little winter? He didn’t remember a project with such a name before. His confusion only spread when he opened the file to be met with a picture of a wailing, red-faced infant.  
He looked down at the Russian words and started reading. His confusion turned to full blown fear and a huge knot started to form in his stomach as he read more and more.

Was created for the sole purpose of harvesting her biological father’s serum.

Looked at more traditional ways to recreate Zola’s serum.

Biological daughter of the Asset.

No traces of the serum.

Project was a failure

Chosen not to be disposed of.

All these phrases stuck out to Bucky and he could feel his breath becoming labored.  
HYDRA had wanted to recreate his serum, so they bred him hoping that the serum had become a genetic trait. But it hadn’t, his daughter didn’t have his super-soldier genes. The project had turned out to be a failure, but they hadn’t disposed of her yet. There was still a chance that she was alive, and he knew he had to find her.

HYDRA had created her without his knowledge or consent and they had stolen her from him. She was just another thing to be added to the list of all the things those bastards had stolen from him, and yet of all the things that had been taken from him, this hurt the most. He didn’t even know this girl and already she was the most valuable and biggest lost he had suffered at their hands.  
He wanted to cry, scream, yell, and punch a wall simultaneously, but all he could do was stare at the baby that was as well staring at him with soft brown eyes.  
“Steve I-“he choked out almost tearfully.  
“We’ll find her,” Steve said assuredly.

Bucky looked up at his best friend and then down at the picture before straightening himself out and retreating to the safety of his bedroom with the file in his hands. That night he didn’t sleep, he just held the picture in his hands as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. He was still trying to process everything in the file. He had so many questions and thoughts running through his head. Where was she? What was her name?  
He had read the file through multiple times, memorizing every little detail he could. 

Things had been starting to look up for him, he had most of his memories back and he was free of HYDRA. He thought that now he could start to heal and try to leave what they had done to him behind, but just when things were starting to get back to normal this popped up. And it just made things that much harder for him.

So he started to come up with a plan.

It had said in the file that she was born in Ukraine in one their many bases, at least that was something. There was only base that Shield knew of in Ukraine and it had been cleared out, so she must’ve been born there and moved to another base. He didn’t know where this base was, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t find it. Surely there had to be files pertaining to her there, all they had to do was get them and then follow the clues. Heck, she may even still be there.  
He continued to look at her file, his eyes skimming over the names that were listed on the file.

Julian Bernotus

Charles Levine

Natalia Andreyev

Were just a few of the names listed on the file. All of these people had been HYDRA scientist and doctors, and yet he didn’t recognize any of the names. Although the name Levine did ring a bell. He seemed to remember one his caretakers back in the 60’s that had the last name Levine, but he couldn’t remember his first name. But it couldn’t have been him, when he had worked for HYDRA he had been nearing 50. He would’ve had to have been 80 when she was born, unless this Levine was a family member, such as a son or grandson. It seemed as good as any place to start, and once he found the younger Levine he could find out more information.  
“Charles Levine,” he said plopping the file onto the table in front of Steve.  
Did you know him?” asked Steve. “I knew a Levine back in the 60’s, he had been one of my caretakers.”  
“You think there’s a connection?”  
““There are no such things as coincidences with HYDRA.”  
Steve let out a sigh and ran a hand through his blond hair, “so that’s where we start?”  
“Yeah, I guess it is.”  
“I’ll call Tony.”


	3. Chapter 2

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?” came Tony’s sing-song voice over the phone.  
“Tony, we need you to do some research for us,” asked Steve he sat around the table with Sam and Bucky with the phone on speaker.  
“I’m sorry, you seem to have mistaken me for someone else, do I look like your personal servant Capsicle?” he said sarcastically.  
“Steve rolled his eyes, “we just need you to look up a couple things for us.”  
“Fine, what is it?”  
“Charles Levine, he would’ve worked for Hydra about 15 years ago.”  
“What’s this for anyways?” asked Tony.

Bucky shifted uncomfortable in his seat and casted his eyes downward. Ever since finding out that he was responsible for Howard and Maria’s death he had felt guilty and had kept his distance from Tony and Tony had kept his.

“Just tracking down some members of Hydra,” Steve said into the phone, leaving Bucky out of it.  
“I can’t find anything on a Charles Levine, but I did find a Dr. Arnold Levine, a Neuropsychologist that started working for Hydra in 1969 until his retirement in 1984.”

Bucky’s head immediately snapped up when Tony mentioned the man’s name, recognition written all over his face. The Winter Soldier had had many handlers over the years, but he clearly remembered the tall grey haired man with the horn-rimmed glasses that would attend to him before and after missions.

“Where is he now?” asked Steve.  
“He passed away from a heart-attack in 1993,” came Tony’s voice.  
“What about-,” Steve said he grabbed the file that had been in front of Bucky, “a Natalia Andreyev?”

Bucky leaned forward in his seat at the mention of the name, the woman’s name was listed on the file along with a few others. He hoped that this woman could be found so he could have some answers.

“There’s really not much information on her, she worked for Hydra in the late 90’s in Ukraine before she disappeared, her body was later discovered in a motel in New York in March of 2000.”  
“She tried to defect,” Bucky said softly as he started to relieve a memory. The memory hit him like a train and it brought him back to that night in New York when she had been his mission. He remembered entering the room through the fire escape and walking into the bathroom where she had just finished her shower. He remembered the look of surprise and fear on her face as she looked up and saw his reflection behind her in the mirror. He felt nothing as she tried to fight back and scream, he struck her in the face and grabbed a hold of her throat with his metal arm.

She had struggled to no avail before she became still in his arms, her lifeless brown eyes staring up at him sadly.

“What about a Julian Bernotus?” asked Steve desperately.  
“Dead as well,” came Tony’s voice, “poor bastard was gunned down while at the park with his daughter.”

Bucky hung his head in shame as the memory of the man and little girl tossing the ball to a dog. A well-aimed shot to the head had sent the surrounding people running and screaming and the little girl fatherless. She was probably scarred for life…

“So basically everyone important that ever worked on this project is dead? Except for this Charles Levine?” asked Sam incredulously.  
“Pretty much, whatever this project was Hydra really wanted to cover it up.”  
“Was Dr. Levine ever married?” asked Steve.  
“In 1953 he married Susan Lockley, who was half his age. She’s still alive and residing in Falls Church, VA.”  
“That’s a 20 minute drive,” said Sam.  
“What the address?”  
“1309 Birch St, NE.”  
“Thanks Tony,” said Steve grabbing his coat.  
“Yeah yeah, just don’t make this a habit, you know I always-,” he didn’t have time to finish his sentence before Steve hit the end button on the phone.

Within a few minutes they were all piled up in Sam’s car heading east on I-66, Sam and Steve sat in the front while Bucky took the back seat. Nobody was really in a talking mood and it left Bucky with some air to breathe and think.

Bucky had never really wanted kids, it was just something that didn’t appeal to him like most, and it seemed almost impossible after the war and especially after becoming the Winter Soldier. It was something he had accepted as never happening to him, and he was okay with that. He didn’t even know if he was capable of having a family in that sense. His parents and sister had been long dead by that point, and Rebecca’s family didn’t feel like family to him. Steve was his only family as of right now, and there was her. But he didn’t know her and she didn’t know him, but yet she was still apart of him. It didn’t matter anymore if he wanted to be a father because she’s here now and there’s no going back.

Flashback (1938)  
“Hey punk, thought I’d find you here,” said Bucky coming to sit next to Steve on the park bench.  
Steve barely paid him any attention as he watched a father and his son fly a kite on the other side of the park and then he’d look down at his art book and back up.  
Bucky leaned in to get a better look at his friend’s art and whistled, “Did you do that now? It’s good,” he said as he admired the shading and the blending of the pencil strokes.  
“Do you ever think about ever having kids?” Steve asked out of the blue.  
Bucky shrugged and leaned back against the bench, surprised by his friend’s question.  
“Nah, kids just really aren’t my thing. What about you?”  
Steve paused his drawing and looked at Bucky, “Yeah, but I don’t know if I’d be any good.”  
Bucky laughed and punched his friends arm, “you’d be a great dad, Steve.”  
“Oh really?” he said laughing.  
“I’m not kidding,” said Bucky putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder, “any kid would be lucky to have you as a dad.”  
“And what about you?”  
“Aww you know me, as long as I have a dame on my arm I’ll be good.”  
(End of flashback)

The memory felt like someone else’s, but it still rang clearly through his head. Steve had always wanted kids and Bucky hadn’t, it was that simple. But life was one big ironic joke, and now he was the one with the kid and Steve didn’t.

“Is this it? Came Steve’s voice from the passenger seat as they pulled into the driveway of a large and very nice looking home.  
“Yeah, let’s see if Mrs. Levine is home.”  
Sam and Steve piled out of the car while Bucky remained seated in the back staring at the beautiful blue house in front of him.  
“You coming, Bucky?” asked Steve opening the door.

Bucky took a deep breath before unbuckling his seat belt and stepping out of the car. Obviously this house belonged to someone very wealthy and was well kept after, he thought as they walked up to the front door and knocked.

The door opened to reveal a young blond woman with a yapping Chihuahua in her arms.  
“How may I help you gentlemen?” she asked curtly, her baby blue eyes widening at the form of Steve  
“Is Mrs. Levine home?” asked Steve politely with a smile plastered on his face.  
The poor girl became red-faced at the sight of Captain America, obviously a fan of one of Earth’s mightiest heroes.  
“Uh y-yes of course,” she said stepping aside, “please come in,” she said gesturing them in.  
“Thank you,” said Steve as we walked into the decorative foyer of the house.  
“I’ll inform her of your presence,” she turning to walk away but ended up running.  
“Nice place,” said Sam he stood in front of the canvas paintings that adorned the soft yellow walls.  
“Well well,” said a voice from the doorway, “when Lisa told me Captain America was here I thought she had finally gone off the deep end,” said the older woman as she descended the stairs. She wore an expensive looking frock with a pearl necklace, her white hair was curled and pinned up and she had quite an expensive looking broach on. She was an aged woman but she wore it well.

“Would any of you gentlemen like tea or water” she said leading them into the living room and gesturing for them to sit.  
“Oh we’re fine ma’am, we only came to ask you a few questions about your late husband’s work.”  
“Arnold’s work?” she asked incredulously, obviously gob smacked by the question.  
“Did you know who he was working for in 1969?” asked Sam as he took a seat on the couch.  
“I’m sorry, but what is this for?” she asked suspiciously.  
Sam snuck a glance at Steve and Bucky before turning back to her, “your husband consulted on a Shield case back in the 60’s, we’re just trying to find out more information ma’am.”  
“Oh,” she said pulling her hand to her chest, “he never told me about that.”  
“It was classified,” said Sam, the lie rolling off his tongue easily.  
“Well that makes sense,” she said setting her cup down, “In 1969 he got a job here in D.C. working for government research or something like that. Honestly I don’t know why Shield would ever need a neuro-psychologist,” she said laughing.  
“I see you have children, Mrs. Levine,” said Sam as he pointed to a family picture on the wall.  
“Oh just my son Charlie,” she said smiling at Sam, “he was born the same year we moved to D.C.. He’s a geneticist now, graduated top of his class,” she said proudly.

So Charles had been Arnold’s son, Bucky had been right about the connection between the two. Charles Levine had been the Hydra scientist that created the girl for the purpose of obtaining the serum, but he had failed and failure was not an option in Hydra. Bucky was surprised that this man wasn’t dead like all the others that had worked on the project. Why wasn’t he dead?

“And where is your son now?”  
“He’s now working as a fertility counselor, helping people have children and what not.”  
“Could you possible give us his work address? We’d like to ask him a few questions if you don’t mind.”  
“Oh sure!” she said reaching for a piece of paper and writing something on it.  
“He should be on lunch break right about now,” she said handing over the pink sticky note to Steve who pocketed it.  
“Is there anything else I can do for you gentlemen?” she asked flashing her pearly white teeth at the three.  
“No ma’am, that’s all,” said Steve standing up and shaking her hand.  
“Well Mr. Rogers, don’t hesitate to come by if you have any more questions,” she said slipping another post-it note into his pocket, which most likely contained her number.

Steve smiled politely at the woman, overlooking the fact that she had just tried to flirt with him.  
“It was nice to meet you ma’am,” Steve said as they walked out of the house and headed towards the car.  
“That woman has no idea, does she” said Sam shaking his head.  
“Not from what I can tell,” said Steve buckling his seat belt.  
“Hey Buck, ya ok?” asked Sam turning to look back at him.

Bucky swallowed his spit before silently nodding his head and buckling his seat belt. In all honestly, he wasn’t okay at all. This was such a strange occurrence and he was still trying to wrap his head around it and the more he tried to make sense of it all the more aggravated and hurt he became about the situation. He could still hardly believe that the screaming infant in the picture was his. It was such a strange feeling, one that he was not accustomed to. After years of being the winter soldier, such emotion had become alien to him. And why wouldn’t it? He had no one when he was the winter soldier, all he had were his orders and the mission. He was a soldier, not a father and definitely not a family man.

He reached into his pocket where the picture had been safely kept and looked down once again upon the infant. Honestly he couldn’t see much of a resemblance, her skin was red and her head was mashed from having been just born. She looked like a potato, but still he could not explain the feeling that started in his chest and spread outward upon the sight of her. He caught himself wondering what she looked like now that she was a teenager, did she look like him? What was her name? And most importantly...  
Where was she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the crappy chapter, if it seemed forced that's because it was. It was really more of a filler chapter, but I did enjoy writing the flashback, which I guarantee there will be more of. I'm gonna try to make the next few chapters interesting and try to update more often.


	4. Chapter 3

Washington D.C.  
Hydra base  
2005

 

Alexander Pierce was not a morning person. And he didn’t bother showing it to people at this ungodly hour of the morning, and especially when he didn’t get around to having his morning cup of coffee. He really didn’t want to be there, but there was paperwork to go over and mission reports that needed to be filed and of course the fact that Shield was practically breathing down his back constantly. 

He went to pick up the stack of papers waiting for him when he heard a soft humming coming from under the desk he was standing in front. He bent down on his knees and peeked under the desk to see a small child with a large stuffed bear on the floor coloring on blank sheets of paper. She was humming quietly as she scribbled on the white paper occasionally pushing a strand of brown hair behind her hair.

He sighed and stood up, “why is there a child under my desk?” he asked pointedly to the other people in the room. At his words a young woman perked up and made her way towards Pierce.

“I am so sorry Director,” she said grabbing the child and hoisting her up, ignoring the whining protests from the child as she tried to get out of her arms and back towards her coloring.

“Who is she?” he asked sternly, not approving of a child on the base. Hydra was many things, but a daycare was not one of them.

“Her name is Yelena,” the woman holding a death grip on the child’s shoulder.

Pierce raised his eyebrows in surprise, remembering the failed project to make more enhanced humans from the Assets DNA. It had been one of Hydra’s most disastrous experiment, it was such a complete failure that it had been swept under the rug and pretty much all information pertaining to it had been locked away, and the child that had been named Yelena had been given to handlers to keep an eye on her encase her genes started to show traces of the serum. He hadn’t bothered to see the child since and he had almost forgot about her completely, except now she was fresh in his mind.

The woman was just about the leave with the squirming child when Alexander caught himself saying, “wait.”  
The woman stopped to glance at him, awaiting his request.

“Leave her here,” he said, his curiosity for the child growing.

“Are you sure Sir? I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said nodding at her. The woman seemed to have no problem the child with the Director, she was probably happy to be free of her for a while. The child stood in the doorway hugging her stuffed bear close to her chest and staring up at with large brown eyes.

“Hello Yelena,” he said offering his large calloused hand out to her. She stared at it before cautiously reaching out her dainty small hands to shake his.

“I know you don’t know who I am, but my name is Alexander Pierce,” he said.

“I know who you are Mr. Pierce,” she said hugging her stuffed bear even more tightly to her.

He was vaguely reminded of his own daughter when she was child at the action, but quickly dismissed it before looking over her once again.  
“So, how have your handlers been treating you?” he said looking her over for any signs of malnutrition or abuse at the hands of her handlers.

He noticed the cautioned look in her eyes before she said, “okay, I guess.”

He nodded before asking, “what were you doing under my desk?”  
The little girl shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, “I was hiding from Ms. Coleman.”

“Why were you hiding from her?” he inquired.

“She’s really mean to me,” she said crossing her arms over her chest.  
“How so?”  


“She doesn’t let me have any fun, all she does is make me clean and eat vegetables,” she said scrunching her nose up, “and she sometimes slaps me.” Pierce thought the child lucky, even though her handlers weren’t the nicest people, there were handlers who were far worse.

“What about your other handlers?”  
“They’re okay I guess, except for Thomas.”

“What’s so bad about him?”

“He’s always angry at me, one time he got so angry at me he hit me right here, but not like Ms. Coleman, it was much harder” she said pointing towards her nose, “it hurt really bad.”

“Why did he do that?” he asked even though he really didn’t care. They were Hydra handlers, they weren’t ordered to be nice to her, just to keep an eye on her.

She shrugged her shoulders and raised her arms, “I don’t know.”

Although he hadn’t intended to have anything done with the girl, he was beginning to think that she should be trained. She could become a Shield infiltrator, or maybe even a field operative. But he now realized that it would be a waste to not use her, surely there was a place in Hydra where she could be better put to use. The more he thought about it the more he was sure that she would be a good infiltrator, but he would have to wait till she was a little older to see if it would work. But for right now he had to test what she knew about them and see where she had made ties.

“Do you know what I do for a living?”  
“They told me that you’re the Director of Hydra,” she said softly.  
“And what do you know of Hydra?”  
“You guys want to protect the world.”  
“Anything else?” he asked, testing her knowledge.

She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her feet.  
“Come with me,” he said standing up and offering her his hand. She carefully grabbed a hold of his large calloused hand, letting him guide her out of the room. This was probably crazy what he was about to do, but he had to show her. He had to show her what Hydra really was.

“Where are we going?” she asked looking up at him.

“We’re going to visit a very old friend of mine.”

“Oh,” she said and then paused before saying, “what’s his name?”

“He doesn’t have one.”

“But how can you not have a name?” she asked innocently, “everybody has a name.”

“Not this man,” he said before coming to stop in front of a door and entering in his code. The door opened and he led the girl through into the cargo room.

“What is this place?” she asked wife-eyes, taking in the room.

“It’s a storage room, you’re not to touch anything, okay?”  
“Okay,” she said taking his hand once again and letting him lead her to the back of the room. 

He led her to the back of the room where a cylindrical shaped box stood. It reminded Yelena of a coffin, but not like the wooden ones, no this one was metal and a little bit bigger.  
“What is it?” she asked looking up at Pierce. Pierce leaned down and grabbed her under the armpits before hoisting her up so she could see what was in the box.

She gasped when she realized that she was looking at a sleeping man, his features reflected by the blue hue of the light, his face peaceful with sleep.  
Yelena reached out a curious hand to touch the glass separating her from him, slowly tracing her finger over his face. He had long brown hair that barely reached the ends of his shoulders and a pale complexion, paler than hers because of a lack of sun exposure. He had a cleft in his chin just like hers, but his had stubble on it from not shaving.

“Who is he?” she asked turning back to Pierce.

“He’s the fist of Hydra,” Pierce stated as he lowered her down onto her own feet.

“You see,” he said lowering himself down to her level, “he was created by Hydra to be a weapon. His work has shaped who we are today, we would not be here if it were not for him.”

“Why is he in there?”

“He’s just sleeping, we’ll wake him when he is needed.”

“But what if he wakes up before then?”

“He won’t because we control his sleep so only we can wake him up.”

“But he doesn’t have a name,” she said. Pierce sighed at her insistence that he have a name before saying, “But if him having a name is that important then I guess you may call him Zima.”

“Zima,” she said testing out the name herself a few times, “I like it.”

Pierce smiled at her naivety and innocence that would soon be taken from her. She was such a curious little girl, which was so ironic considering who her biological father was. But soon Hydra would strip that away from her, and she was going to have to be ready for that.

“Yelena,” came the woman’s voice from the door, “it’s time to go.”

“Go on,” he said motioning his head towards her handler.  
“Goodbye Mr. Pierce, goodbye Zima,” she said addressing both him and the cryo-tube before running to the woman in the doorway.

If only she knew who Zima really was to her, but that was something that would remain hidden from her and the Asset. If either of them knew, it could jeopardize their loyalties and distract them. He wasn’t sure if that would be the case for the Asset because he was nothing but a weapon. He only knew the mission, not of family or love because he wasn’t human.

He shakily got back on his feet and glanced one more at the sleeping man that slept peacefully and totally unaware of the world. He would be awakened when he was needed, but for the mean time all that was left for him to do, was to sleep.

He pulled out his phone and raised it to his ear before saying, “Pull all files pertaining to the Little Winter project, we’re re-opening it.”  
With that he walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving the soldier to his cold and dreamless slumber.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Falls Church, Virginia  
2015

“You think he’s still connected to Hydra?” asked Sam staring at the office doors as people walked out, looking for the Doctor.

“He might be,” said Steve, “that’s why we need to be careful. Then again he might not be, in any case he should be viewed as a threat.”

“I wonder why he isn’t dead,” mused Sam, “you know what happened to the others, so what makes him special?”

“He’s connected to them in some form or another,” said Bucky for the first time since leaving Mrs. Levine’s house, “if he wasn’t he would’ve been viewed as a liability and disposed of.”

“His dad retired from Hydra,” Sam pointed out.

“Yes, but he still consulted,” said Bucky casually looking out the window.

“Do you think he’s in hiding?”

Bucky snorted, “If so, he’s doing a shit poor job of it.”

“Guys,” said Steve nodding towards a balding middle aged man walking out the front door. 

He looked older than in the picture, but it was definitely him with glasses. Bucky and Sam nodded as they slipped out of the car, Sam coming up behind Steve and Bucky splitting away in case he decided to try and run.

“Excuse me,” said Steve walking up to him. The man turned to look at Steve, his eyes widening in shock and fear before making a mad dash the other way, but Bucky was ready for him. It was a good thing no one was present to watch as Bucky grabbed him by his metal arm and threw him into a car. The man hit his head and crumpled to the ground unconscious, but he didn’t see that. All he saw was a Hydra scientist, just like the ones that had experimented on him and made his life a living hell. He could feel himself reverting back to the Winter Soldier as he advanced on the pathetic little man lying on the ground, but he was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a steady but firm hand on his shoulder and Steve telling him to calm down. He took a deep breath as he watched Sam checked over the him and he and Steve hoisting the man into the back of the car.

“How bout next time we don’t knock him out,” said Sam sarcastically.

“Too hard?” Bucky stated.

“A little, but he deserved it.”

Within 10 minutes they were back on the highway heading back to D.C. with Bucky in the back keeping his eye on the sleeping man and Sam and Steve in the front discussing what they should do with the man when Steve’s phone rang.

“Where the hell are you?” came Natasha’s audible voice from the other end.

“Hello to you too Nat,” Steve said pleasantly.

“I’m not kidding Rogers, if you went after the girl without-“

“Calm down Natasha, we’re heading back to D.C. right now with an extra passenger.”

“Who?” she asked.

“One of the Hydra scientists that worked on the project,” he said glancing casually back at Bucky.

“How’d you pull that off so quickly?”

“Well we had a little help, plus Hydra really didn’t cover their tracks all that well.”

“Is James with you?” she asked.

“Yes,” Steve stated slowly but steady.

“And he knows-?”

“Yes Nat, he knows.”

There was a pause on the other end before she said, “just get back here soon, I’m sure you can explain everything then.”

Bucky heard a soft groan coming from the man as he tried to sit up but didn’t get the chance to before Bucky had delivered a nonfatal blow to the face, effectively knocking the man out cold again. 

“See you soon,” said Steve hanging up and turning back to Bucky with an unapproving glare. Bucky just simply shrugged at him, questioning what he would’ve done in his place. Steve just sighed and shoved his phone back into his pack pocket.

“She seemed angry,” Bucky said stating the obvious, his eyes darkening just a little as they stared at Steve.

“Where they ever going to tell me?”

“No,” he stated simply looking back at Bucky searching for a reaction.

Bucky clenched his metal fist and stared out the window at the passing trees. Of course they weren’t going to tell him, he was unstable and they couldn’t know how he was going to react. They had wanted to play it safe because they didn’t want to lose him. But at the same time he felt betrayed and angry. They had no right to keep such information from him, he deserved to know everything that they had taken and done to him.

“Eventually they were planning to, but they felt now was not the time.”

“They had no right,” Bucky said glaring at him, his eyes feigning betrayal.

“No they didn’t, that’s why I told you.”

“Thank you,” he said so softly it almost went unheard. The rest of the car ride was silent as Bucky stared at the window, his thoughts occupying his mind and the picture in his hands weighing him down with an invisible force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is. I added child abuse because lets face it, Hydra is not a nice organization. Things are about to get a lot worse for Yelena, she's going to be trained and be put in the care of new handlers who are more harsh than Thomas or Coleman. So beware of upcoming child abuse. Bucky is still angry and shocked at he situation, but he's slowly making his way through it.


	5. Chapter 4

Hydra Base  
Washington D.C.  
2005

“Where are we going Ms. Coleman?” asked Yelena as she watched her handler stuff her clothes into a little travel case.  
“Mr. Pierce is arranging for you to get new handlers,” she said zipping up the bag, quite annoyed at the questions that the child was asking.  
“But why?” asked the confused child.

“I don’t know!” she said raising her voice at the child, “stop asking me questions I don’t know!” she said grabbing the child roughly by the arm and pulling her up to her feet. She grabbed the carrying case with one hand and Yelena’s hand with her other, leading her out of her former quarters.  
The child, who was quite used to Ms. Coleman’s temper, stayed silent as she was led out of the building and into a black SUV that was waiting for them on the tarmac.

Ms. Coleman shoved her bag into the back of the car and forced Yelena into the car, strapping her down to the car seat.  
“You see this man?” she said pointing to a rather young man wearing a black suit sitting in the front of the car, “this is Rumlow, he’s been assigned to be your temporary handler. You will do as he tells you, yes?”

“Yes Ms. Coleman,” said the little girl in a hushed, scared voice.  
“Good,” she said patting her head awkwardly before closing the car door and walking away.  
Yelena only watched as the woman she had known since birth walked away from her without so much as a goodbye or hug, leaving her at the mercy of these strangers.

“Will I ever see her again?” she asked directing the question to the man known as Rumlow.  
“No,” he said looking at her in the rear view mirror briefly.

Yelena hugged her stuffed bear closer to her little body and stared out at the passing scenery from the little window. She had never really been let out of the building complex where she used live, so everything she saw was practically new and strange to her. She could see tall white buildings and lots of people walking around idly pointing and looking at maps. 

Mr. Rumlow came to a stop in front of a nice looking building that sat on a street corner, with its pillars and dome shaped roof it reminded her of the fancy buildings in Europe that she had seen in the picture books Ms. Coleman had let her read. 

Mr. Rumlow lifted her up out of her car seat and lowered her to the ground. He knelt down and smoothed the wrinkles on her soft yellow shirt and combed her hair back off her face, making her somewhat presentable for the Director. He grabbed her hand, his grip much softer than Ms. Coleman’s, and led her to the back of the car where he unloaded her suitcase before closing the trunk and leading her across the street and into the pretty building.  
Yelena became confused as soon as she was led into the building with floors were white tiles that reflected the light from the chandelier that hung above them. There were people waiting in line in front of counters and people dressed nice sitting at them attending to the people.

She noticed Mr. Rumlow look over to a far desk where a man wearing a blue uniform and a badge sat. The man glanced at Rumlow and nodded at him before returning to a book that he was reading. Mr. Rumlow led her out the main room and into a dimly lit hallway and from there into an elevator. She watched as he pulled out a key and inserted it into a lock and turned it, making all the buttons that were not previously lit up light up.  
He reached over and hit the very bottom one and leaned against the railing as the car started to move down. Yelena glanced around the small room as she felt the elevator lowering them beneath her feet.

Once the doors where open she was led into a well-lit vault type room that was surprisingly busy with people in suits and lab coats.  
“Wow,” she said stopping to marvel at the room. Rumlow stopped and let her take it all in, a very small smiled gracing his lips as he watched her.  
“Keep walking,” he said gently nudging her forward in the direction of Pierce’s office.

“Yelena!” said Pierce standing up and straightening his shirt before walking over to her and kneeling down in front of her, “how is my favorite little girl today?” he said producing a red sucker from his pocket and presenting it to her.  
She tenderly reached out and grabbed it, marveling at the sugary sweet she rarely ever received.

“Thank you,” she said taking the wrapper off and sticking it into her mouth, reveling in the cherry flavor that exploded in her mouth.  
Pierce smiled at her, the wrinkles around his eyes crinkling up.  
“You’re probably wondering why I have brought you here?” he asked motioning for her to take a seat on the chair in front of his desk.

“You see Yelena,” he said taking a seat and pointing at her, “I see your potential to be a great asset to Hydra one day, and I’m going to unlock that potential. How would you like that? To help us make the world peaceful?”

Of course Yelena being a child meant she didn’t understand a word he said, but nodded her head vigorously at the mention of world peace. Mr. Pierce was a nice man, why not help him?

“That’s very good, Yelena. We’ll make a Hydra agent out of you yet,” he said smiling widely at the naïve child.  
Yelena having grown up surrounded by Hydra had been fed their indoctrination since the day she was born. She knew nothing of the world or what they had done in the past, she only knew what she had been taught. To her, Hydra was good because it was the only thing she had been taught from day one.

“Sir,” came a man’s voice from the doorway, “the Asset is back.”  
“Thank you Collins,” he said dismissing the young man before turning back to face Yelena.  
“Mr. Rumlow and I have business to attend to, I’m sure you will not leave this room in the meantime?”  
“Yes Mr. Pierce,” she said watching as he and Rumlow exited the room and returned to swinging her tiny little legs and sucking her sucker.

She didn’t suck on it much longer before she finally bit into it and ate it, leaving her with a sucker stick that she knew she needed to throw away. She climbed down off the chair and walked around Mr. Pierce’s desk in search of a trashcan but didn’t find one.  
She searched the rest of his office but not finding one. Surely there had to be one in the other room? She was sure that Pierce wouldn’t mind if she left for just a second to find one. She would only be gone a few seconds and then she would be back here like she promised him, she wouldn’t wonder off to where she wasn’t supposed to be.

She peeked her head out of the room to find it practically empty than just a few minutes before. She walked around the room and searched vigorously for a trashcan but again didn’t find one. Why didn’t they have one? Did they not clean up their garbage?

She was about to walk back to the office when she turned her head and found a trashcan sitting at the end of the hallway. She quickly ran to it and threw the stick away, happy that she had finally found one. 

She was about to walk back when she heard Mr. Pierce’s voice coming from the door next to the trashcan. She couldn’t hear what he was talking about, but grew curious about the business that she was not invited to see. 

She peeked her little head through the door to see Mr. Pierce standing in front of a weird looking chair, Mr. Rumlow was standing next to him while various men in white coats walked around checking strange looking monitors.

No one saw the little girl peeking in on them so Yelena quietly walked into the room and came to stand in the corner in front of a metal door with square holes big enough for her to peak through.

She watched as Mr. Pierce suddenly moved away from the chair exposing the man who was sitting in it. Yelena only backed away further away into the shadows, hoping the man wouldn’t see her and tell Mr. Pierce. Thankfully he hadn’t bothered to look her way, his eyes trained on Mr. Pierce. All that Yelena could make out of the man was that the arm facing her was made completely of metal with a bright red star painted on it. She was both curious and fascinated by this man’s arm, she wondered what it would feel like to touch it.

Yelena couldn’t quite hear what was being said, but she didn’t dare move from her spot in case she was spotted. She didn’t want Mr. Pierce think she wasn’t trustworthy, she just wanted to know what was going on with the man sitting in the chair. He seemed familiar with his long brown hair, but Yelena couldn’t see his face from the angle she was standing and his hair helped cover it from her. He sat rigidly on the chair, his bare chest rising and falling with every deep breath he took and his metal arm twitching ever so slightly.

Rumlow, who was currently standing off to her right, said something to the man causing him to turn his head to face him, giving Yelena a good look at his face.

She bit her lip as she realized that she had seen his face before. It was Zima, the man who had been sleeping in the large metal box that Mr. Pierce had shown her only a few days prior.

She found herself being drawn forward and came out of the shadows so she could see the man better, but still cautious as she did not want to be caught.  
She could see the man say something but it was so soft she could barely hear the sound that came out of his mouth, but whatever he had said seemed to make Mr. Pierce angry because the next moment the older man had walked up to him and slapped him hard across the face. The man’s head fell to the side before lifting it up shamefully, not meeting Mr. Pierce’s gaze.

Yelena was confused at his action.  
Didn’t Pierce say that Zima was his friend? But this wasn’t how friends were supposed to treat each other, right?  
Then Mr. Pierce turned toward the other men in the room wearing white coats and said something to them before backing away from the seated man.  
Yelena turned to look at the man and gasped when she realized that his cold gaze was fixed directly on her. She was frozen with fear as she stared at him unable to move under his watch.

The more she stared the more she realized that his eyes looked sadder than they were cold. He continued to stare at her as something was forced into his mouth and he was roughly pushed back into the chair. Metal restraints came out of the chair and fastened around both of his arms holding him firmly in place. She could see a weird round thing being lowered down and two panels that sparked with electricity enclose on either side of his head.

He gave her one final look before the machine was turned on.  
And then the screaming started.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shield base  
Washington D.C.  
2015

Bucky clenched his metal fist as he watched the man who was currently seated at the table staring down at his hands that were placed in his lap. His shoulders shaked nervously and he would occasionally reach up to push his glasses up his nose before returning to idly twiddling his thumbs.  
“Hello,” said Natasha as she came to sit on the other end of the table with the case file and Steve’s report in her hands. She grabbed the pitcher of water that had been previously untouched and poured two glasses of water, one for herself and one for him.

“Water?” she asked sliding the glass over to him.  
He looked between the glass and her, and cautiously reached out and grabbed the glass from her and taking a small sip before setting it down on the table.

“Shall we get down to business, Mr. Levine?” she said opening the case file and glancing through it.  
“First of all, do you know why you’re here today?”

He visibly pondered over the question carefully before giving a hesitant nod.  
“Is this about my work for Hydra?” he asked, not even bothering to try and lie to them.  
“Yes, most specifically your work on the Little Winter Project,” she said sliding the picture of the infant across to him so he could get a good look.  
He looked down at the picture with an unreadable look before returning his gaze to the redhead.

“What would you like to know about it?” he asked agitated.  
“Everything, if you don’t mind,” said Natasha coolly.  
He sighed as he took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, “It all started in 1997 when Hydra almost lost the Asset during a mission. After that they decided that they needed a backup in case they ever lost him, they wanted a 'just in case' plan. That’s when Pierce approached me and asked me to lead a scientific research program to recreate the serum that was given to the Asset.”

“And you said yes?”  
“I was young and foolish then, I didn’t know the mess I would be getting myself into when I accepted his offer.”

“What happened next?”  
“I used the notes that Zola had left behind, his research into the possibility of cloning the Asset to obtain the serum. But it didn’t work. The test subject was a failure and it forced me to look beyond Zola’s idea of a clone.”  
“And that’s how you came up with the plan to breed the soldier?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “I thought if I couldn’t make his clone, then I would simply make a child from half of his DNA. I thought it was a good idea, Pierce thought it was a good idea, we thought for sure it would work.”  
“But it didn’t,” Natasha said grimly.

“No,” he said shifting his eyes downward, “I don’t know what happened, but apparently the serum that he received had not become a genetic trait. His daughter was born with absolutely no trace of it.”  
“What happened after that?”  
“My team was disbanded and my research locked up. I and a few other co-workers were forced to resign, others were not so lucky.”

"Hmm, you mean like Julian Bernotus and Natalia Andreyev?” she asked.  
He sighed and leaned forward on the table, “Julian did resign, but when Hydra found out he was conversing with an American scientist about the prospect of recreating the super soldier serum, he was taken care of.”

“And what about Natalia?” asked Natasha leaning forward.  
“Natalia was the one volunteered her DNA and her body for the project.”  
“So she was the mother?”

“Yes, but she became too emotionally attached to it. I warned her not to, but she didn’t listen to me of course. She tried to fight us when we took the child from her arms, as I suppose any mother would. About a month after the child was born she tried to defect, made it all the way to New York before Hydra caught up with her,” he said shaking his head, “foolish girl.”

Bucky, who had been listening to every word spoken was visibly shaking with anger at the words he spoke. He had been forced to cover up the secrets he didn’t even know he had, forced to participate in the covering up of the mistake that was his child. Her mother was dead because of him, he had killed her because she had loved their child more than the people she had worked for.

He didn’t know what to think, he didn’t even know how to think right now.

“It’s okay Buck,” said Steve gently resting his hand against his shoulder. Steve had been so quiet through the interrogation and Bucky had been so engrossed that he had forgotten that he was even there at all.

“Steve I-,” he stumbled over his words, not quite knowing how to convey his thoughts to his best friend, “what am I supposed to do? How do I go on living after what they’ve done to me or what they’ve taken from me? How do I forgive myself when I’m here and she’s still with them?”

Usually he wasn’t one to talk about his emotions, it was something that he just didn’t do. He had been trained not to show weakness and to perform his abilities as best he could. But he was no longer that person, and he was showing weakness. He was showing Steve his need for comfort for the first time in almost 70 years, he was actually talking to him about how he felt.

“This is Hydra’s doing, not yours Buck. You can’t blame yourself for what you didn’t know.”  
Bucky didn’t reply because he didn’t know how. He knew Steve was right, but he still felt the guilt and that would be with him always.

“Where was the child taken after she was born?” asked Natasha.  
“To the Hydra base here in D.C.”  
“We cleared that base, there was no information on her there,” said a confused Bucky.  
“We found the base here in D.C., but we didn’t find any files pertaining to her there,” asked Natasha.  
“That’s because there’s two bases in D.C.,” he said snidely.

Bucky didn’t know what had come over him but he found himself marching into the room and grabbing the man by his throat, ignoring Natasha’s cries.  
“Where is it?” he yelled into his face, his fist tightening ever so slightly.  
The man started to turning blue and wheezed for air desperately.

“James,” said Natasha sternly, “he can’t answer you when you’re choking him.  
Bucky removed his hand and let the man fall from his grasp, coughing and wheezing for breath.  
“Now,” said Bucky as he came to stand over him, hostility lacing his voice, “where. Is. It.”  
“B-beneath the a-airport,” he stuttered out, still clasping his already bruising neck.

With that Bucky turned and strode out of the room stopping at the doorway and turning back towards the pathetic man on the floor, “if I find out that you lied to me, I’ll kill you.”

And with that he strode out the room, he had acquired a new mission and he was ready to complete it.  
“You wouldn’t actually let him kill me, right?” he asked Natasha from his place on the floor.  
“If the Winter Soldier wanted you dead there’d be no stopping him,” she said dragging him to his feet and cuffing him.


	6. Chapter 5

Washington D.C.  
2015  
Hydra base

“You seeing this Cap?” asked Sam over the com.  
“Yeah, looks like the entrance is in the east hangar,” he said looking through the binoculars.

After finding out that there was an underground Hydra base at the airport Shield had put a lot of work into getting Intel and surveying the area as best they could without alerting Hydra to their presence. It was key in this situation to make sure they didn’t know Shield was onto them. If they knew they had been discovered then all the information and experiments might as well be lost, maybe even the girl, and Steve was not about to let that happen.

“You sure we can do this?” asked Natasha from over the com, “There’s no way of telling whose Hydra and whose not, there could be civilian casualties.”

“We know,” said Steve meeting Bucky’s eyes, “but there’s nothing we can do about that. We can’t evacuate because then Hydra will know we’re onto them and we can’t risk that. Besides, it’s not like there’s a lot of people in there, and I doubt there’s going to be civilians inside the actual compound.”

“If we do this fast and efficiently we should be able to get the job done without hurting any civilians,” said Barton over the com. 

Natasha had called him in a few days earlier and explained the situation to him and he had agreed to come and help out, especially when he found it was to rescue his friend’s kid. Steve guessed it had to with the fact that he himself was a father, and he knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his kids.

“So we’re actually going through with this?” asked Sam.  
“Looks that way,” said Steve.  
“The Strike Team’s ready, all you have to do is give the signal,” said Natasha.

Steve looked to his right to meet Bucky’s impassive gaze, asking him with his eyes if he was ready. The look that he received told him all he needed to know.  
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” he asked over the com before reaching to grab his shield which was hanging off his back and jumped as quietly as he could off the small ledge, coming to stand gracefully on his feet before moving out. He could sense Bucky behind him, his gun raised ready to cover him if anything tried to get at him. But he barely noticed that as he had become focused on the mission at hand and what was needing to be done. 

The two of them made a formidable pair as they silently made their way across the tarmac in the dark, hiding in the shadows and minimizing their exposure.

Steve was about to turn around the corner but quickly stepped back and motioned to Bucky to stay quiet before turning to look at the two men that were standing there, one was talking on his cell phone in a foreign language.

“Russian,” whispered Bucky as he leaned in closer so he could hear better.

They waited for a few seconds before Bucky jumped out and grabbed one of the men around the neck with his metal arm, holding him in a strong choke hold for a few seconds before Steve jumped out from his hiding place, effectively scaring the other man. He dropped his cell phone and reached for a gun that was hidden in the waistband of his pants, but he had barely grabbed it before Bucky shot him in the chest with a well-aimed shot, killing him almost instantly.

Steve didn’t even have the chance to comment before two more men popped out of nowhere with their guns drawn and raised at them. He held up his shield to deflect the shots, letting Bucky take care of the two men with his super-soldier/assassin abilities.

“Let’s go,” said Bucky once the last body had fallen. They ran across the tarmac, avoiding the departing and landing planes and staying at invisible as possible.  
They entered into the hangar and hung back to observe the group of men sitting around lazily and conversing with one another, unaware of the present danger. Hydra hadn’t yet figured out that they were being infiltrated.

“Natasha,” said Steve fast under his breath, “where are you?”  
“We’re on our way towards the hangar right now. Where are you?” she said out of breath.  
“We’re in the hangar waiting for you.”

“Be there in 2,” she said before ending their conversation, the sound of a quick yelp and bang was what Steve heard before the line went dead.  
“They okay?” whispered Bucky.  
Steve nodded, “they’re on their way.”  
“We could take them now,” mumbled Bucky as he stared at the group.

Steve didn’t doubt that they could, but he didn’t want to continue without the rest of them at this point. There was no room for missteps or accidents in this mission, he could afford to make no mistake when it involved his best friend’s daughter.

“We need you here Natasha,” said Steve into his earpiece impatiently. He was about to say something else when he was interrupted by the whizzing of one of 

Barton’s arrows as it hit one of the men in the back. Confusion barely had time to spread amongst the men before a streak of red and black jumped out and attacked in a flurry of calculated and well executed offensive movements. Barton came out of his hiding place and continued to hit the men methodically, taking short breathers to notch arrows. 

Steve and Bucky had barely registered what was happening before they too joined into the flurry of the fight. Steve used his shield on the offense, knocking men out right and left while Bucky did the same with his metal arm. 

In just a few minutes all the men had been subdued, leaving the rest of them, except for Steve and Bucky (thanks to the serum), were out of breath as they stared at the body-covered floor.

“Hey,” said Sam behind him, “did we miss the party?” he said walking in with the Strike team behind him.  
“Where the hell were you guys?” asked Barton out of breath.

“Sorry, we got a little lost and had to take a detour,” said Weber, the leader of the Strike team as he stepped forward.  
“We figured that since Hydra probably knows were already here that we might as well go ahead and evacuate,” said Sam.  
“Are they all out?” asked Steve.

Sam nodded before surveying the bodies that littered the floor, “so, you guys having fun?”  
“If your meaning of fun is taking out Hydra bases, then yes, we’re having loads of fun,” said Bucky sarcastically.  
“Well, I’m sorry I’m late then,” said Sam smirking.

“So the actual base in under this hangar?” said Weber changing the subject as he surveyed the room, looking for an entrance to this mysterious underground base.  
“Yes,” said Bucky as he looked at the floor for an entrance or any other sign. He bent down onto his knees and fingered the concrete in a thoughtful glaze before standing up again and walking to the far wall and searched for something.

“I remember,” He said looking at the wall, “one of the bases In Russia having an underground bunker, it had a trap door in the floor and the lever that controlled it-“  
“Had a symbol on it,” interrupted Natasha as she came to search with Bucky.  
“The Red Room had something similar,” she said looking at the rest of them, hinting that they should help look as well.

The team separated and started scowering the wall for anything that resembled a symbol or something out of the order.  
“Guys!” said one of the member of the Strike Team motioning them over.

“I think that’s it,” said Bucky as he reached out and pushed the symbol into the wall. They waited for a few seconds before the sound of a door, which had previously been a wall opened up.

“Well that’s creative,” said Sam sarcastically as he came to stand in front of it.  
Weber and his team entered in first, guns raised as they searched.  
“Clear!” said Weber and the others followed the group in, guns drawn and raised as well.

“Bucky and I will secure the file room, the rest of you know what to do, Sam you’re with us,” said Steve raising his shield and separating from the group.  
“Are you sure that’s a wise idea, Cap?” asked Barton.  
“Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine,” said Steve over his shoulder.

“Do we even know where the file room is?” asked Sam.  
“Oh I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.”  
“Although it doesn’t appear this is one of their main bases, I’d still be careful,” called Natasha after them as they walked away.  
“Will do!” Steve said as they walked around the corner.

The next ten minutes were spent slowly making their way to the file room, or to the general direction of where they hoped the file room was. Once they were there they would recover the files and leave the rest to Shield and continue their search for the girl. Although there wasn’t definite guarantee that she had ever been here, it was the best they had to go on. And what could Dr. Levine possibly gain from lying to them? It made all of them positive that they would find information on her here.

“Steve!” came Bucky from around the corner that they were currently covering, “I think I found it!”  
“There’s only one way to know,” said Steve coming to stand in front of the door to what they hoped was the room.  
With one swift kick the door fell back off its hinges and they entered in with their guns raised to find that it was indeed the file room and it was empty.  
“Guard the door,” Steve said the Sam, “Bucky and I will look for the files.”

Steve plopped himself on the ground next to Bucky and began to pull the files out of the cabinet one by one, looking for key words that were alphabetized. He sat like that for 5 minutes, looking through the L’s before he finally found it tucked at the back, almost forgotten from the rest of them.

“I found it,” he sighed out, his eyes traveling the cover with relief that they had finally found something.  
“What does it say?” asked Bucky anxiously as he came to sit down next to him.

Steve flipped the cover open and started reading through the file looking for anything that could tell them where she was.  
“She was moved,” breathed Steve leaning back against the file cabinet, “to a base in New Mexico.”  
“What part?” asked Bucky grabbing the file from Steve, reading over the words himself.

“They moved her to Los Alamos to begin her training,” Bucky stated, his voice straining over the words. Steve knew that this whole situation was taking its toll on his best friend, and he guess that news like this would only make it worse. But atleast they knew where she was, all they had to do was go in an retrieve her and then they would deal with the consequences of what Hydra had done to her. It was one thing getting Bucky to break his programming because atleast he had memories to retrieve, memories of a better life while this girl had nothing. She had been with them since the beginning, she had known no other life than what they had provided her, and from the looks of it that life was not a good one. Steve had to wonder what kind of person that they were saving, and if she was savable. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking of things like that, but he couldn’t really help himself.

“But this is good Buck,” he said clasping his shoulder, “this means we can get her”  
Bucky only nodded tensely before standing up off the floor, his eyes going somewhere else all entirely.

“Good news Cap, we finished clearing the base,” said Natasha over the com, “you find the files?”  
“We’re in the file room, and yes we found the files,” he said observing Bucky’s tense face.  
“What does it say?”  
“It says we’re going to New Mexico,” he said pushing himself up off the cabinet.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to Nat.”  
There was a long pause over the com before she said, “Barton and I are in, when do we leave?”

“First thing tomorrow,” he said before cutting off the conversation and glancing at Bucky who was currently staring at his feet.  
“We should probably get back and prepare,” said Bucky shoving his hands into his pockets, “I’m sure Shield can take care of this,” he said glancing at the file cabinets.

“You okay?” Steve could tell something wasn’t quite right with him, he looked absent from everything that was taking place.  
“I’m fine, Rogers,” he snapped, “God sometimes you can be such a sap,” he said walking out of the room in short angry steps leaving Steve to wonder what he did wrong.  
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” said Sam from the door, “he’s still trying to recover from what’s been done to him and then this-“he said shaking his head, “it can’t possibly be easy.  
“No, he’s hurting,” said Steve shaking his head, “I can see it in his eyes.”  
“He’ll pull through eventually, just give it time.”

Steve heaved a sigh before clipping his shield onto his back, “you should get some sleep, we leave at dawn tomorrow,” he said before walking out of the room, heading off to find Bucky.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

New Mexico  
Hydra Base  
2005

Yelena sat in the corner of the small quarters she had been assigned holding her head in her hands and sobbing quietly. Her head hurt from when one of her new handlers had struck her and a nasty bruise had started to form where his hand had met her head. All that she had done was try to get her stuffed bear back after it had been taken from her by her new handlers. 

She had cried and begged for it back to her new handlers, even going as far as clinging onto one of them until they stopped and listened to her complaints. But all that had come out of that was a sharp and painful blow that had knocked her clean on her butt and in shock at what had just happened. 

She had been struck by her previous handlers before, Ms. Coleman would occasionally slap her and Thomas would sometimes hit her, but never this hard. She had sat on the floor in shock before bursting into a bout of tears at the pain that was swelling in her head and face. 

Then she had been forced to her feet and thrown into her assigned quarters with instructions to get over it.  
She didn’t want to be here, she didn’t want to be trained anymore. She just wanted her stuffed bear and her old life back, not what had been given to her by Mr. Pierce.  
She lifted her head up when she heard the door to her room being open and the man who had struck her entered, his shoes echoing on the metal floor and his shadow covering the wall behind her.

“Get up,” he ordered as he marched into the room and grabbed her by the arm, hauling her to her feet and dragging her out of the room.  
“Please,” she hiccuped as he forced her down the hallway, “please don’t hurt me.”

“Shut up!” he said yanking her forward so hard that pain radiated up her arm. This only caused her to cry more at the harshness of his voice and the pain in her arm.

“Baron Fleischer,” he called to a man down the hall who was currently talking to another person, “I have the girl.”  
The man turned around to reveal a rather young face with blond hair and pale blue eyes, but when he smiled it made him appear like the Cheshire cat that had been in one of her fairy tale books.

“Ahhhh you are Yelena, no?” he said kneeling down to her level and grabbing a lock of her brown hair, stroking it between his fingers, “we have been expecting you Fraulein,” he said in a light German accent.

Yelena only stared up at his pale blue eyes, not trusting him what so ever.  
“What is this?” he said stroking the bruised side of her face before looking up at her handler.  
“She was misbehaving.”  
“Tsk tsk,” he said stroking her ear, “Now we can’t have any of that can we?” he said lightly scolding her as if a parent would.

“You will find that there is no room for misbehaving little girls here, so I implore that you behave from now on, yes?” he said patting her face hard enough to cause pain, “besides, we wouldn’t want to mar this pretty face.”

Yelena didn’t know what to feel about this strange man that was currently stoking her face in a rather weird fashion. He seemed okay, definitely nicer than the handlers she had been given to.  
“Wir beginnen morgen,” he said to the handler before standing up and smiling once again at the 5 year old.

“It was very nice to meet you, Lena,” he said calling her a shortened version of her name before walking away from them.  
“What did he say?” she didn’t understand the language he had spoken in, but she wanted to know what was said.

“None of your concern,” he said taking her arm and directing her back towards her room.  
“Go to bed, you’ll need all the sleep you can get,” he said shoving her into the room and locking the door behind him.

Yelena sat down on the bed and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings before leaning back and curling on her side. 

This would be the first night in her life that she didn’t have her bear with her, and she could never go to sleep without it being held close to her chest.  
She sniffled and wiped the tears out of her eyes before turning onto her other side.

 

She wouldn’t be seeing that bear for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> German translations (probably wrong)  
> Wir beginnen morgen - we begin tomorrow
> 
> I decided to add a few more tags and add Hawkeye as well, I hope you guys don't have a problem with that. I decided to add those specific tags because I wanted more to write with Yelena. I felt it make her suffering and characterization better. Let's just say, Baron Fleischer is going to key point to her story...


	7. Chapter 6

2007  
NM Hydra base  
New Mexico

“You’re not trying hard enough,” came the voice of her instructor as he held her arms tightly against her side despite her efforts to break free.  
“I can’t,” she whimpered as his hold became tighter around her torso.  
“Remember what I taught you? You can do this.”

Yelena whimpered as she yet again tried to break free of his hold, but her efforts were proving unfruitful despite having gone over the procedure many times. She knew it was a fairly simple maneuver, all she had to do was break free from his weak hold.   
She felt ashamed of the fact that she had failed to do what she was being taught. Ever since her training had begun just two years ago, she had proved to be quite the learner in everything that they had had her do, such as how to fire a firearm and disable cameras and alarms. She was good at all those things, except when it came to fighting.

I can’t!” she yelled desperately, “it’s too hard!”

She had barely spoken the words before she had been carelessly thrown to the ground by her instructor. She knew what the price of failure was, and she knew what the punishment was.

“That’s enough,” came Baron Fleischer’s voice from the side of the gym where he had been avidly watching the entire process.  
“Yelena, would you please join me?” he asked politely as he beckoned her over. At his words, she lifted herself off the mat hiding a limp as 

she made her way over to him, she didn’t want to show her pain if it wasn’t that bad.   
He led her into his office and directed her to sit on one of the chairs opposite of where he had taken his seat.

“How long have you been here?” he asked folding his hands on top of the desk, waiting for her answer.  
“Two years last month,” she replied as confidently as she could.  
“Is that so?” he asked with fake curiosity.

Yelena swallowed her own spit and casted her eyes downward to stare into her lap. She had a distinct feeling where he was taking this conversation.

“You know, Lena,” he said leaning in closer to her, “one would think that in two years one would start showing improvement, no?”  
Yelena remained silent, continuing to stare at her lap.

“Well?” he asked impatiently, “Are you going to answer me?”  
“Y-yes sir,” she said.  
“Then why pray tell, have you not shown any improvement in that past few months?”  
“I-I don’t know,” she stuttered out with shame and fear, hanging her head so she wouldn’t have to look at him.  
“Well something must be done about it,” he said standing up and walking over to a cabinet on the far wall and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured a little into a fancy glass, “we wouldn’t want what happened last time to happen would we?” he asked as he sat down and took a sip.

Yelena shuddered as she remembered what had happened only a few months prior when she had been misbehaving.   
She had been locked in isolation with no food or water for almost three days, and it had ensured that she would never misbehave on purpose ever again. 

She remembered the hunger pains that had racked her body and the awful headache that had developed from dehydration.   
She remembered how she had to be carried out because she was too weak to walk and how she had to spend the night in med bay hooked up to an IV. Her lesson had been learned, there was no room for misconduct in Hydra.

“No please,” she said shaking, “I’ll do anything Sir, just please don’t make me do that again!” she was practically hysterical at the prospect of having to suffer through that again.

“Oh I’m sure there’ll be no need for that especially after the last time,” he said, “but if there is no improvement I’m afraid it will have to be done.”  
“Don’t do that! I promise I’ll improve!” she said nodding her head vigorously.

“Oh I’m sure you will Lena,” he said standing up and walking over to his file cabinet and pulling out a white folder, “Director Pierce told me not to tell you this, but I’m going to show it to you anyways,” he said taking his seat again and placing the folder in front of her, “I trust this will remain our secret, no?” 

Yelena stared at the white folder unable to make out the foreign language written across the front. What was he going to show her?

“Have you ever heard of the Winter Soldier?”

“The Winter Soldier?” she asked gazing up at him in wonder. Of course she had heard about the Winter Soldier, he was after all the fist of Hydra. Whenever she had heard people talk about him they had always talked about him in an awestruck manner.   
He was literally a legend within Hydra and only a handful of people had ever had the opportunity to see him in person. He was a deadly assassin, and from what she knew no one had ever escaped from his deadly clutches.

“What about him?” she asked with curiosity and confusion.  
“He’s your biological father.”  
“What? But they told me I didn’t have any parents,” she asked more confused than ever.  
“Don’t always believe what you’re told Lena, of course you have parents.”

Yelena reached across the table for the file and opened the first page to be met with the face that often times visited her nightmares. It was a picture of Zima in the familiar blue setting of the metal box, just like when she had first seen him. She hadn’t realized until now that Zima and the Winter Soldier were the same person, and this person was her father.   
The same man who she had seen sleeping in a metal box and then strapped to a chair was the lethal deadly assassin who she had come to admire just like the people around her.

She was shocked by the fact that she knew who the Winter Soldier was and her connection to her that she almost missed the little black and white photo clipped to the bottom of the file. It was Zima, but yet he didn’t look like she had remembered him. His hair was shorter, but blocked from view by a cap and he looked different then she remembered, she wasn’t sure how to describe it, but his eyes weren’t sad.

“Does he know about me? Will he come for me?” she asked trying not to show hope. She was his daughter, so why wouldn’t he come for her?  
“No Lena, he doesn’t know about you and it’s going to stay that way.”  
“But why?” she said biting her lip, she wasn’t going to cry but that didn’t stop her from being disappointed and sad.  
“Nobody can ever know that you’re his daughter and you can’t tell anybody, this is a huge secret that you must keep forever Lena. He’s a weapon, not a person and most definitely not a father.”  
“I can’t tell anybody?”  
“Not even Director Pierce, I would get into a lot of trouble if he knew you knew and that would be very bad.”

She nodded her head as he glanced back down at both of the pictures, but mostly looking at the small colorless one. For some reason it was her favorite picture of him.

“The reason why I’m showing you this is so that you know what your place here in Hydra is. You are a legacy, you’re his legacy and it’s time that you started acting like it. Don’t you want to serve Hydra as he has?”

Knowing that the Winter Soldier was her father gave Yelena a new found sense of loyalty to Hydra. She had to show Hydra that she was her father’s daughter and that she could be a legacy.

“Would you look at that!” said Baron Fleischer motioning towards the clock on the wall, “it is almost time for dinner, but if you leave now you might be able to fit in an extra 15 minutes of training.”

Yelena climbed down from the chair and said goodbye before making her way back to her instructor. Later that night she came back to her quarters to find the black and white picture sitting on her nightstand where it stayed as a reminder of what she had to live up to. 

She made a promise, and she intended to keep it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-Da! Sorry it's kind of short but I felt like I needed to show a bit more of her in the story and how Hydra was treating her and how Fleischer was pretending to be her friend and care about her all while slowly tearing her down to recreate her in his image. Sorry guys, but Lena's in for a wild and cruel ride :(


	8. Chapter 7

NM Hydra base  
2010

“Get up,” came the gruff voice of her handler from the door.  
“What time is it?” she asked blinking away the sleep in her eyes and forcing the covers off of her body.  
“2:45,” he said waiting for her to put a jacket over her sleepwear and some shoes.  
“What does Fleischer want with me this early?” she asked pulling her messy bed hair into a ponytail and walking out of the room.  
“I’m not sure, but it seems important,” he said following closely behind her until they reached the conference room.

Earlier that week it was discovered that two of their scientists were selling information on Hydra’s experiments off to a client in the U.K., when this had been discovered they had tried to flee the state, but had only managed to make it as far as Durango when they had been caught. Lisa Holden and Scott Darren, two promising geneticists who had previously been employed at Sandia Labs before coming to work for Hydra, now sat chained to their seats awaiting the consequences of their actions.

“Lena,” said Fleischer beckoning her further into the room. Yelena walked fearlessly into the room, assessing the two people shaking in their chairs, before coming to stand in front of her superior.

“Lisa Holden and Scott Darren,” he said motioning towards the two, “were found to be selling classified information on our experiments and when we discovered what they were doing they tried fleeing. Now Lena, do tell me what that would make them?”

“Traitors,” she said glaring at the two scientists.  
“And what is the price for treason?”  
“Death,” she said as she stared down the woman who was pathetically crying at the verdict, the man held his head down, not making eye contact with anyone.

“You’ve shown yourself to be dedicated, but now it’s time to show me that you are truly capable of carrying out Hydra’s will,” he said holding out a gun towards the girl.

Yelena only stared down at the small handgun, she knew what was expected of her and she knew she had to it. It was a test and she had known that one would be coming, she just didn’t know what it was. This moment right here determined everything for her. They had to know what she was capable of. For the past 5 years she had been trained and now it was time to take that to the next level.

She was not the first person to be asked to take somebodies life, it was a necessity within Hydra that their agents be able to take drastic measures. Her father had taken lives for the greater good of Hydra and by doing so he had most certainly guaranteed their success. 

So why should she be capable of any less?

She had been extensively trained on how to use a gun and was quite adept at it, but never before had she actually killed someone with it. She reached out and grabbed the gun, which was already loaded, and walked over to the woman who was making ungodly sounds from her mouth as big fat tears spilled down her cheeks, smearing her eyeliner and mascara. This woman was a traitor and by default deserved to die, and a well-aimed shot to the forehead had ensured that.

Yelena stared at the limp woman before she walked around to face the man who still had his head lowered as he recited his prayers. Yelena hardened her gaze as he raised her gun and fired, the string of prayers ended with a loud bang.

“Very good!” said Fleischer clapping his hands together and making his way over to her to clasp her shoulder. He was talking to her, but she didn’t hear a word he was saying as she stared at the two limp bodies and the pool of blood that was growing on the ground. She knew she had done the right thing, it was all for the greater good.

“And now I think it is time that you started going out with the team on missions now that you’ve proved yourself,” said Fleischer, his hand lingering on her shoulder, “wouldn’t you like that?”

“I would like that very much Baron,” said Yelena flatly as she still stared the bodies.  
“Marvelous!” said Fleischer wrapping an arm around her shoulder and guiding her away from the bodies which were now being untied and carried away, “I have talked with Director Pierce and he has decided to send you to Germany to help gather some intel on some people. It will a relatively easy mission, so I am positive that there will be absolutely no room for failure.”

Yelena should have been excited about going on a mission, it was what she had been waiting for for almost 5 years and it meant that she was making her way up the chain, but for some reason she found herself dreading it.

By the time she had returned to her bed it was almost four o’clock, and no matter how much she just wanted to close her eyes and forget everything, all she could do was stare at the ceiling of her quarters with anticipation and fear for what was about to come.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Moscow  
2012

“Stop fussing Yelena,” whispered the Ambassador as he placed his hands on her shoulder and squeezed tightly as a warning sign. Yelena was not used to wearing dresses, especially ones as scratchy and as frilly as the one she was wearing. Her hair was also bothering her but she could not scratch her itching scalp for fear of ruining the neatly plaited style she was being forced to wear. Everything about the outfit she was wearing was impractical from the dress, the hairstyle, and even the small white flats that pinched her feet painfully. 

She had to endure as people came up to talk to the Ambassador to talk about boring stuff like politics and economics, which although she knew but found it quite tedious to endure for long periods of time. 

But she listened to every word that was said, cataloging it into her head and trying discern key words. She had been trained to take note of everything, nothing mustn’t escape her attention.

“Ah you must be little Melissa, no?” asked one of the men that was talking with her undercover ‘father.’  
Melissa Taffert, the twelve year old daughter of United States Ambassador Michael Taffert, the undercover role she was currently playing. 

She had been training for months in preparation for this assignment from Director Pierce. Ambassador Taffert was really a member of Hydra and they were here to spy on one of the UN Representatives that was currently working for Shield as well as to protect the Ambassador.

“Hi,” she said smiling and shaking the older man’s hands. As part of her training she had to learn social skills and what was appropriate behavior for a twelve year old girl.

“It is so good to finally meet you Melissa, your father talks about you much.”  
“Does he?” Yelena asked feigning shyness and curiosity, “I hope he hasn’t told you too much Sir.”  
“He tells me you enjoy school and hope to one day become a veterinary, is that true?”  
“I do enjoy school very much, and yes I really would like to be a vet one day,” she hoped to god her words did not sound forced.  
“What else do you enjoy child?”  
“I enjoy playing the piano and art,” she had no idea how to play the piano and it had been years she had drawn, but those were the words she had been told to say if anyone asked.  
“That’s very good child,” said the beaming man as he clapped her shoulder before spotting someone across the room and politely said his goodbyes before walking away.  
“How was that?” whispered Yelena.  
“Better, a little stiff, but satisfactory.”

Yelena huffed out in annoyance, she knew her performance was stiff but all she needed to get better was more practice.  
“It’s time,” said the Ambassador as he reached into his pocket and retrieved a small chip and placed it into her hands, “you know what to do.”

“Yes sir,” she said before grabbing her glass of water that she had left on a table and made her way over to the target, Alec Schneider a German UN Representative.

She got as close to him as possible while pretending to accidentally bump into him, effectively spilling her water down the front of his button up shirt and in his state of confusion quickly slipped the chip into his coat pocket.

“I am so sorry,” she said grabbing the napkins off the nearby table and handing them to him so he could clean himself up, “I did not see you there Sir.”

“No harm done,” he said dabbing his shirt, “Melissa, right? Michael’s daughter?”

“Yes, I’m his daughter,” she said setting her glass down.  
“Well Melissa, I must warn you to watch where you are going in the future, wouldn’t want to make a habit of it now would we?”  
“No Sir.”

“Very well then, a pleasure to meet you Ms. Taffert,” he said before walking away, the chip safely tucked away in his pocket.  
“Is it done?” asked Taffert as she made her way back to him.  
“I was successful,” she said coming to stand next to him.

“Well done,” he said reaching into his pocket and activating the signal as to alert the other Agents that they had been successful.  
“What’s going to happen to him?” she asked.

“Didn’t you know? They’ve called in the Asset,” he said drinking a glass of champagne.

Yelena’s head shot up at the mention of the Asset, it had been years since she had seen him last, the memory of him screaming in the chair still fresh in her mind. But now that she knew who he was to her she couldn’t help but feel scared at the prospect of seeing him.

“Don’t worry, you will not have to see it. Although I do hear it is a sight to see the Asset in action, they say he could put the fear of God into any grown man.”

Yelena shuddered as the memory of him being tied down to the chair still haunted her, it was a memory that had plagued her often through the years and haunted her dreams.

“Can we please leave?” she asked tugging on his shirt sleeve.  
“What’s wrong little girl, scared of the Asset?”

She didn’t know if she was scared of him or not. He was a deadly lethal assassin who could kill you with one swift blow to the face but on the other hand he was her progenitor, but of course he didn’t know that. If he was ordered to, he would kill her without a second thought without remorse, and that it what truly frightened her. And now she had just helped him in yet another of his many assassinations, and while that alone excited her, she did not want to see him at all.

“I’m not feeling well,” she said grabbing at her abdomen in fake sickness. The Ambassador looked around to see a few people staring at them and knew that he had to pretend to be her father and take her home if she wasn’t well.

“Is it your stomach sweetie? Why don’t we go back to the hotel room if you’re ill,” he said to keep up pretenses as he guided her out of the room. He knew what she was doing and it was not appreciated, he had wanted to see the Asset in person but then she had to go and do this.

“Okay,” she said fake sniffling as she held his hand.  
“Well played you manipulative bitch,” he said to her as soon as they were out of the building and away from the ear of people.

Yelena only shrugged her shoulders and brushed his comment off, she was after all used to it.

“I just want to go, I don’t want to stay here any longer.”

“Fine, we’ll leave tonight,” he said opening the door to their car, courtesy of the Embassy.

Yelena slid into her seat and buckled up her seat belt, remaining silent as they were driven back to their fancy hotel to pack up their belongings. As they were driving, she noticed a flashing lights and sirens all gathered around a single car that was completely totaled, and she could see a body bag being placed into the ambulance. She had a feeling that that was Alec Schneider’s body in that bag and that the Asset was nearby.

“Hydra sure does like using car accidents as cover ups,” said Taffert as he leaned over her for a better look.

Yelena remained silent as she watched it body being lifted into the ambulance. He had deserved to die at the hands of the Asset, and she had helped him do that. She had helped her father, even if he didn't know that, accomplish the greater good. And she felt good about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so difficult for me to write, but I just did it. I;m going to be giving more of a backstory to Yelena before Steve and Bucky come and rescue her so you guys have a good picture at what she's been forced to do, the kind of life she lives, and how she is loyal to Hydra.


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm warning you, this chapter is a little dark. So if you aren't comfortable with whats in the tags then don't read it because this chapter is going to show you just how sick Fleischer is and how Yelena has been so torn down and used that this is the only way she can react to what he's done. Also this chapter shows the story progressing, so it won't be long before Yelena and Bucky meet.

NM Hydra base  
2012

It is a few weeks after her mission to Moscow with Ambassador Taffert that Captain America was discovered alive on the ice. It had caused quite the uproar with Hydra when it was discovered that the man who had killed Red Skull and forced them into hiding as well as being the possessor of Erskine’s famous serum was found indeed alive off the coast of Greenland in the Valkyrie. But it wasn’t just the fact that he had been found alive, it was also the fact that he and a rag-tag team of vigilantes had saved New York from aliens and were now parading around calling themselves the ‘Avengers.’ 

To be honest, Yelena did not know what to think of the Avengers as she watched the destruction of New York City from the mess hall television with all the other agents. She had been taught that Captain America had very nearly brought about their destruction during the Second World War and because of that she had grown to hate the man with every fiber of her being even though she had never met him personally. 

He was the embodiment of everything Hydra hoped to eradicate from this chaotic and perverse world, everything he stood for was against their beliefs and he had proved himself to be a formidable enemy in the past. 

Yelena had learned a little bit about Captain America and the Howling Commandos in her history studies. She had learned how he was a short, underweight guy from Brooklyn who had signed up for Dr. Erskine’s Project Rebirth and had become Captain America and went to Europe to foolishly try to take down Hydra. But even then, there was still so much Yelena did not know about Rogers or the Howling Commandos. For some reason her teacher had only gone over the most important details, leaving the smaller ones out as well as not showing her any pictures of Steve and his team. 

When she asked her instructor why she was not allowed to see any photography she had simply been brushed off with the excuse that they had no available pictures, which Yelena knew was absolute bull. Did her teacher think she was a moron? Hydra kept such detailed records and pictures surely they could spare one to show her? When she asked Fleischer if she could access to the pictures she was harshly told no and to not ask again. 

That was the last time she asked.

 

Everybody thought that he had taken down Hydra upon his subsequent death in 1945, but what they did not know was that Hydra had survived through Dr. Zola and Shield. Ever since then, Hydra had been in hiding, like an infection festering in an open wound. Hydra was patient, they had been for the last 67 years and they must still be patient for only just a few years. The world was becoming so chaotic that soon enough people would be willing to give up their free will and submit to the rule of Hydra, and people like Captain Roger and Shield would be crushed under the weight of their superiority. They need only wait just a bit longer and grow just a bit bigger.

But Captain Rogers being found and aliens attacking NYC was not the only strange thing to happen that year, it was also the year that Yelena hit puberty. Her small and slender body was starting to change in ways that were foreign to her. She grew taller, her chest started to fill out, her hips widened and her face went from round and innocent to angular, which she was actually thankful for. Of course Yelena was not the only one to notice such changes in her body, Baron Fleischer had of course noticed and she felt his eyes on her more than so in the past. 

She had barely turned 13 when she was called into Fleischer’s office for a private meeting, which she was accustomed to, but lately these meetings between them had started to become stranger and more personal. Baron Fleischer had always been a touchy sort of guy, he liked petting hair and sometimes his hands would linger a bit longer than what was normal, but as of lately he was starting to get more personal with her. 

This time he leaned down to smell the scent of her hair and trailed his hands faintly over where her neck met her chest and sometimes his hands would trail down the length of her hips in a light and ticklish way.

And just a few weeks ago she had come back from a mission to find a neatly wrapped present waiting for her on her bed. She had been utterly confused at the sight of the light pink wrapped present, she had never been given a present like this in her entire lifetime. So she unwrapped it carefully and opened the white box to find a light blue dress folded neatly with a letter sitting on top of it. The letter was from Baron Fleischer wishing her a happy thirteenth birthday, which was quite a surprised for her considering it had been years since she had celebrated a birthday and had forgotten that it was indeed the 18th of February, her thirteenth birthday. 

Yelena was confused as to why she was receiving a dress, she after all did not wear dresses unless she was undercover, and even then it was exceedingly rare. But never the less she had put on the knee-length dress and thanked the Baron for such a lavish gift that she did not deserve. He told her simply to not think on it too much and that the dress brought out the brown in her eyes and that when he saw it he couldn’t help but think of her.

As soon as Yelena was back in her own room she took the dress off and folded it before shoving it into the back of her closet where she hoped nobody could see. She hated wearing dresses, and she particularly hated this one although she did not know why.

But those strange events were quickly forgotten along with the dress that had been hidden away, but still Fleischer’s strange behavior did not stop, in fact it only seemed to get worse as the weeks went by.

But Yelena could do nothing, and she wouldn’t even if she could. She had been trained to overcome any obstacle and challenge that was put before her without complaining or failing. There was nothing she could do but hold her head high and take whatever happened to her like she had been trained to.  
Baron Fleischer said the reason he was touching her was to prepare her, but sometimes she felt there was more to it. But what she could do?

So she said nothing as the hands ran up and down her body and caressed her skin.

She said nothing because her body was a weapon that was always available and at her disposal, and Hydra had shown her that. They had shown her how to feel comfortable in her own skin and use that to her own advantage. It was as well a way of gaining someone’s trust and asserting a certain amount of control over someone. It was not something for her to enjoy, it was a weapon that she would need in the future.

She had been taught all of these things, but so far she had not been forced to utilize this skill she had been taught. It was something they wanted her to be prepared for in the future, but as for now it was not something that she had to participate in. The only things she had been forced to endure were the hands of the Baron, which was something she had learned to easily dismiss. She had taught herself not to be bothered by it and she had become accustomed to it as the year ended and another one started.

The start of 2014 hadn’t seemed that exciting compared to the two previous years. So far there had been no aliens trying to invade Earth, no U.S. Presidents getting kidnapped by fake terrorists, no spaceships tearing through London, in fact it was proving itself to be quite a boring year. Her fourteenth birthday came and passed, she continued to go on missions and she continued to further her training with the instructors to better herself. 

So indeed it had come as an unexpected shock when news of Director Fury’s death had reached them, of course anybody with half a mind would’ve realized that it was the Asset that had been responsible for the killing. From what little she knew, Project Insight was almost ready to come online and it was time for Hydra to take action.

They had been waiting so long for this moment, and now it was finally here after waiting and hiding for seventy years.

But what was not expected in their plans was Captain Rogers and the Widow escaping the Winter Soldier and leaking the news that Shield was Hydra to the whole world. 

Yelena watched in horror at the screen as Project Insight was destroyed right in front of their eyes, exploding in a rain of fire and then falling into the Potomac. Everything that they had worked to accomplish, gone in only a matter of seconds.

And not only had they been exposed, the Director was dead and the Asset was nowhere to be found in the mess that was called Washington D.C., they were now saying that he had gone rogue.

Yelena couldn’t believe it when she heard the news that he had indeed gone rogue after saving Captain Rogers life by dragging him out of the Potomac.

Why on Earth would he save that man? That man who had ruined everything the Asset had worked to accomplish, and now he was rescuing him? 

It made absolutely no sense to Yelena, but she did come to the conclusion that the Asset was a traitor for saving him and then up and leaving afterwards. It didn’t matter to her that he was her father, because he was a traitor and the punishment for that was death.

But no matter how much she tried to convince herself of that, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for wanting her own progenitor dead. She had been taught that children were supposed to love their parents, but not her. She was not supposed to love her father, and she didn’t. Did she admire him? Of course, but love? He didn’t love her, he wasn’t capable of love and she didn’t love him. 

So what did it matter if he died? All traitors should die for their actions, and he deserved no less.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so now we're seeing Bucky and Steve's side of the story after having a few chapters dedicated to Yelena. They're going into retrieve Yelena, so I promise the next chapter will have the meeting between the two, which is gonna be interesting to say the least. This chapter is also showing Bucky and Steve's guilt for a lot of whats happening and what happened in the past, so be prepared for GuiltyBucky and GuiltySteve as they confront things unsaid and what not.  
> And without further adieu, here is chapter 9!

NM  
2015

“What a quaint little town,” said Bucky as he pulled his jacket around him tighter as the chilly March air hit him, “is it always this cold?”  
“Pay attention Buck,” said Steve before returning to listening to his earpiece which was currently feeding them information.

Bucky twiddled his fingers in agitation before taking seat on the ground and leaned against the wall behind him taking in deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. Ever since the quinjet had landed here he had felt agitated and jumpy, which he guessed was normal given the circumstance, but he just couldn’t suppress the distressing feeling in his gut. He just wanted to get in and get the job done and get the girl and get out of this place for good and actually get a good night’s rest.

Following the months after the fall of Shield, he had found himself unable to sleep because of the memories and dreams that had plagued him. Every night he relived the fall from the train and all that Hydra had done to him only to wake up in his shabby apartment that he had been holed up hiding from Hydra and the world.

Then he found Steve again, and for the first time months he actually slept in peace. Things were looking up for him and life was actually good, but then he had found out just how much Hydra had violated him and getting a good night’s rest became a distant memory. He just couldn’t get the picture of the baby out of his head, and it kept him up at all hours of the night. He would lie there with the picture and feel anger, guilt, remorse, and violation all at the same time. And no matter how much Steve and Sam told him it wasn’t his fault, it didn’t lessen the anger or pain.

“Is that what it looks like to you?” asked Steve asked Sam over the com, “Are you sure?”

Bucky listened idly as Steve droned on, occasionally scratching his itching head under the red baseball cap he was wearing and adjusting his sunglasses on his nose.

“What’d he say?” asked Bucky once the connection between the coms was disconnected.  
“There’s an old government complex in the woods that’s supposedly been abandoned since the 60’s that Hydra’s been using as a secret base. People around here thought it was some government testing lab or covert military operation.”  
“So when do we go in?” asked Bucky.  
“Tonight.”  
“Why tonight? We could hit it now, he have the resources and the men,” asked an agitated Bucky. Tonight was too far away for him to wait.  
“Shield’s trying to get as much information as they can before they send their men in. We don’t really know what’s in there so they’re exercising caution.”

“What time tonight?” grumbled an impatient Bucky.  
“The team will meet up here at six and then we move out,” said Steve, “In the meantime we’re going to lay low, we don’t want to alert them to our presence.”  
“You don’t think after the Triskelion falling and Hydra being exposed they wouldn’t be on high alert?” asked Bucky.

“Most likely, but apparently even Hydra took safety measures and not all of their information was leaked onto the internet. And it helps that they don’t know the other base in D.C. was cleared out by Shield.”  
“We don’t know that for sure, somebody could’ve gotten a message out,” pointed out Bucky.  
“Well of course we don’t know for sure, but they seem to be unaware of the situation or else they would’ve packed up and moved, which they didn’t.”

Bucky nodded his head at Steve’s words, agreeing with the statement that if they knew they would’ve packed and moved, which of course they didn’t.  
“Six huh?” asked Bucky looking at his wrist watch for the time, “That leaves us with three hours to kill.”

“You want to get something to eat?”  
“Not hungry,” said Bucky sighing as he leaned his head against the wall in boredom.  
“You think they tortured her?” asked Bucky out of the blue as he watched a group of teenage boys skate by them. He wasn’t asking out of curiosity, he was asking out of impassively curious guilt.

“Oh really Buck?” asked Steve out of scolding incredibility, “Why would you even ask that?”

Bucky only shrugged his shoulders flatly, his body language showing no emotion.  
“You think they wiped her too? Turned her into a killing machine just like her old man?” he was trying to bait Steve into making him feel guilty. He was tired of people being so sympathetic and understanding and assuring him it wasn’t his fault when he just wanted someone to blame him.  
“Stop,” said Steve harshly, “Just stop it Buck, none of this is your fault so stop blaming yourself.”

Bucky only continued to stare blankly across the street, not really hearing his friend’s words. And to be honest he really didn’t want to hear them.  
“Do you ever blame yourself for what happened on the train?” he asked, his voice straining.

The look on Steve’s face said what his words didn’t. Even after seventy years he still felt guilty about not being able to save Bucky from falling off that train in the Alps, and with the news that he had survived it and that Hydra had gotten their hands on him only made the guilt grow. 

“It wasn’t your fault punk,” said Bucky, “but you still feel guilty.”  
“I could’ve jumped after you,” whispered Steve.

Bucky tilted his head back and laughed bitterly, “and what? Let Hydra get their hands on two super-soldiers? Let them get a hold of Erskine’s serum so they could build and army of super-soldiers like you?” Bucky bit back an almost painful whimper, “you know it was better for me to have fallen instead of you.”

The words felt like vinegar in his mouth, but he knew it was the truth. It was better for him to have fallen off the train and let Hydra get their hands on him than let them get their grimy hands on Steve.

Steve said nothing as he slumped down next to Bucky and leaned against the street wall because he knew he couldn’t say anything. No matter how much he wanted to deny it he knew Bucky was right, and it only made him feel like an awful individual for even thinking it. 

It would’ve been better if Hydra hadn’t gotten their hands on either of the two, but in the end they did and now all they could was pick up the pieces and try to move on.

They sat like that for who knows how long, just two friend sitting on the street left only with their individual thoughts and guilt as their silent companion.  
“We should go,” said Steve looking at his phone for the time, “it’s almost 6.”

Bucky only sat there in silence as Steve hoisted himself up, absentmindedly drawing doodles on the concrete with his metal arm. Only a few hours ago he had wanted nothing but to get this mission done, but now he didn’t even want to get up off the ground.

He had barely noticed the passage of time over these past few hours, but the setting sun was proof enough that they had indeed sat there for hours.

“I can’t,” he whispered still rooted to his spot.  
“Come on Buck, there’s a little girl who’s in need of rescuing.”  
“I’m scared,” he said truly confronting his emotions about the entire situation.  
“Of what? A fifteen year old girl?”  
“No, I’m not scared of her,” said Bucky shaking his head, “I’m scared of what they’ve done to her.”  
“Hey, we’ll deal okay? We’ve gotten through this before and we can get through this again,” said Steve hoisting him up.

Bucky said nothing as they made their way to the rendezvous point and he still said nothing as they rattled off the plan for getting into the complex, he only listened to the important details of the mission and how they execute their plan. During the debriefing, he could feel Natasha's worried eyes on him, but he couldn't even really bare to look at her because all he felt was remorse and anger. Remorse that he had shot her and anger because she knew about Yelena and chose not to tell him.  
So he ignored her worrisome glances and focused on the mission.

They had two missions, to clear out the base and to rescue the girl named Yelena.

It was the first time that Bucky had openly thought about the name that was listed on the file, which was obviously a Russian name. It was a fairly pretty name, not one he would’ve ever come up with on his own, but none the less a pretty name.

Once the briefing was done they headed their way out to the complex and stayed hidden outside of it as they readied themselves to take it over. Bucky stayed with Steve while Natasha and Clint separated and went with the Strike Team and Sam was currently being their eyes and ears from the sky.

Steve was donned in his Captain America attire, his shield out and ready while Bucky was in his usual black attire with the arm on his jacket cut off as to showcase his metal arm.

Bucky had changed into it especially because for some perverse reason he wanted everybody there to know who he was and that he was no longer on their side.  
“Strike Team do you read me?” asked Steve over his com.  
“Loud and clear,” came the Strike Teams leader.  
“Are you ready for the go?” asked Steve.  
“Yes sir.”  
“You ready Romanov?” he asked directing the com towards her.  
“Barton and I are ready whenever you are.”  
“You ready Buck?” this time his question was directed at him.  
Bucky only nodded in reply, his hands held clenched around his gun.

“Let’s do this.”


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for the chapter you've all been waiting for.... (drum roll please), the meeting!  
> Just warning you this chapter is tense and quite the opposite of a joyful family reunion (cringe), but I did spend a lot of time on it and did get help from Yep on how to write Yelena because honestly I just could not get her thoughts and feelings right at all. And poor Bucky :(  
> He needs a hug and some good alcohol after this chapter and Yelena needs a good slap.  
> And so without further adieu...

NM  
2015

 

Yelena had barely laid her head down on the pillow before the base alarms were blaring in her ears. The base alarms hardly ever sounded and when they did it usually meant that something bad was happening. 

Yelena scrambled up and threw on her shoes, not bothering to change out of her sweats or tank top and grabbed her personnel issued gun before she ran out the door to find the base in panic mode. There was yelling and frantic running as the base was being attacked by an unknown enemy and the people were scrambling to get weapons and other various things.

“Collins!” yelled Yelena as she grabbed the young agents arm, “what’s going on?”  
“Shield’s found us,” he said brushing her hand away from his shoulder, “go find Fleischer!” he said before he ran off down the corridor.

Yelena only had seconds to register his words before she was running down the corridor towards the records room where Fleischer was sure to be if Shield was the one attacking them, not paying attention to the gunfire and yelling. There were records that were being kept there that could not fall into Shield’s hands no matter what and they had to be protected at all costs.

“Baron!” cried Yelena as she ran into the room to find him hurriedly thrusting various files into his brief case.  
“Yelena,” he said not even lifting his head as he continued to cram the bag full of files, “it seems as though Shield has found us.”

“How?” this was base was so well hidden that it wasn’t even on the file leak that was leaked onto the internet last year.  
“I have no idea and I’m not about to stay to find out, that’s why I have a helicopter waiting to take us out with the files if we hurry.”

“What about the others?” she asked as Fleischer grabbed her arm and dragged her across the hall and into the surveillance room.  
“Sacrifices must be made Yelena, you know that,” he said forcing her into the seat that faced the many monitors that displayed the base, “now sit here and tell me when someone is coming,” he said before getting on the other computer to access the online files.

Yelena watched the screens as the base slowly fell into the hands of their enemy. She watched as fellow agents and people she knew fell and were forced to surrender and lay their guns down.

She was sweeping over the monitors when something out of the corner of her eyes. She had to look closely and almost did a double take when she saw the iconic shield of Captain America being wielded by the man himself.

Her eyes were so focused on the Captain that she almost missed seeing the man fighting next to him with deadly accuracy and precision. She almost gasped when he turned himself so that he was facing the security camera because she knew who it was. His brown hair was the same length and the metal of his arm shined in the light of the room he was in, the red star of Communism blatantly displayed across his bicep.

Although she had seen him on television during the whole fiasco that had taken place last year, this was the first time in ten years that she had actually gotten a real good look at him and she could tell he looked exactly the same as he had all those years ago. He didn’t seem to have aged at all from when she had seen him in through the glass of his cryo-tube with Mr. Pierce.

“Captain America is here and he has the Asset with him,” she said gaping in awe at her father as he faught off his attackers.  
Fleischer ran over to look at the monitor over her shoulder to be met with the same sight before grabbing her arm and yanking her up.  
“We need to get these files to the helicopter,” he said pulling the bags up on his shoulder, “I assume you know what to do?” he said pointing to the gun that she had placed on the table next to her. 

“Yes sir,” she said grabbing it before she followed him out of the room and towards the roof where the helicopter would be waiting for them.

As they ran she stayed next to him ready to defend him just as she had been trained to do in such circumstances, she covered his back and cleared the hallways first before they ran down them. She ignored the gunfire and bodies that littered the floor as they made their way to stairs that would lead them to the roof. They had to take various detours due to running into Shield Agents and even the Black Widow herself as she attacked their Agents with lethal force. Yelena had only got a glimpse of red hair before she was pulling the Baron in another direction to avoid conflict with her.

Yelena was out of breath once they had finally made it to the roof, her breaths coming out short and haggard only to see the helicopter that had been waiting for them in flames and the pilot nowhere to be found and various Hydra agents’ bodies strewn across the roof.

Baron Fleischer barely had enough time to register what was happening before the famous shield of Captain America was flying through the air to meet them, but Yelena did. She grabbed the older man and yanked them to the ground as the shield flew over their heads towards one of their Agents that had been coming out to help them.

Yelena watched as the man, whom she had been acquainted with, was thrown to the ground by the sheer force of the shield as it barreled into his chest before it seemingly bounced off of him and flew back to its owner.

Yelena never thought she would ever get the see the man who had nearly destroyed them twice face to face, and yet there he was barreling towards them with his shield secured back in his hands.

Yelena acted quickly, grabbing her gun and aiming it at the fastly approaching man and fired off a few rounds, which much to her dismay were easily blocked by his shield.

It all happened so quickly that she barely had time to register it all as the Captain raised his shield and threw it in her general direction. Yelena had thought it was intended for her, but as ducked she turned to see it hit Baron Fleischer in the back as he was running away with the files in hand.

She saw her opportunity to raise her gun and shoot him in the brief period of time before his shield came flying back into his hands, but she never even got the chance to fire before she heard the click of a gun next to her head. She turned to see the barrel of a gun pointed right at her, but she barely noticed it when she saw who the person was holding the gun.

 

Of all the ways she envisioned of meeting the Asset, this definitely was not one of them. He stood tall and rigid, his metal arm gripping the rifle in a threatening matter. His brown hair fell into his face, slightly covering the blues of his eyes, which were apprehensive and regretful as he stared her down.

She observed him in shock and fascination while her gun was still pointed on the Captain because she honestly couldn’t believe that he was right there in front of her with a gun pointed at her.

“Drop it,” he said, his voice surprisingly soft and calm.  
Yelena was not dumb, she knew she had been outsmarted and outmatched. She knew when it was time to fight, and when it was time to surrender and now was the time to fight, so she lowered her gun and dropped it to the ground all while not breaking eye contact with her father.

Her father kept his eyes on her as he bent down and retrieved the gun which she had kicked his way. While he was doing this, she noticed a person unknown approach her with a set of handcuffs in their hands. 

She knew that in situations such as this that certain measures would be taken to insure the safety of others, even if that meant viewing her as a threat. Yelena simply held out her hands and allowed the man to place the cuffs on gently, which was something she had not expected. All while this was happening, she noticed Fleischer being hauled up to his feet in a daze and led off by Shield agents as the files were collected off the ground where they had been dropped.

Yelena couldn’t help but feel ashamed and embarrassed as the files that Hydra had worked so hard to keep a secret were simply picked up and put into an evidence container to be reviewed at a later time. She had failed her mission, horribly. What kind of Agent was she if she couldn’t do what she had been trained and entrusted to do?

But even with such emotions of failure running through her head, she still kept her face blank and emotionless as she was led away by Shield Agents. She simply kept her eyes on the blue ones of her father as he looked on from where he was standing a few feet away. He hadn’t tried to talk to her or approach her, he only stared at her as she stared at him like he was trying to assess her.

She was led by two Shield Agents into the building complex that only a few hours ago had been a secret Hydra base, but Shield had found them and had successfully taken it over and detained everybody in it. She could see as Hydra Agents and employees were led to where they would be interrogated and then most likely sentenced to prison for what other people considered a crime.

She honestly didn’t know what would happen to her now that she had been detained by the enemy. There was no possibility of Hydra helping her out at this point. The remaining Hydra groups around the world were too busy trying to remain hidden and out of the public’s eye that they didn’t have time to come and rescue them. 

There wasn’t that much people worth saving and she definitely did not warrant a rescue for herself. She was just a failed Hydra experiment to recreate Zola’s serum and apparently a failure when it came to performing her duties to the best of her abilities. Although she had been trained for years, she honestly didn’t bring much to the table. She wasn’t enhanced like her progenitor and she didn’t have special abilities like other experiments did. She was just a normal human being who had been trained to be an Agent and possibly an infiltrator in the future.

As she walked, she noticed a second pair of footsteps following close behind. She slightly turned her head to see the Asset walking some distance behind them, his hands were shoved into his pockets and his postures showed that he seemed unsure and cautious as he hung back from them. 

Yelena could hardly believe that this man, who looked more like a lost puppy, was one of the most deadly assassins in the world.   
As a child she had been so fascinated with the man named Zima and that fascination had only grown when Fleischer told her about her blood connection to him. She had been so young when she found who he was to her, and she had had dreams about him coming to take her away so that they could be family. But those dreams quickly died like the innocence that came with it. 

She learned that he was not a person, he was a weapon to be used against their enemies and all those who didn’t agree with their beliefs. Hydra had created him and he would always belong to them, like a piece of property. 

But that was not the man who was cautiously following behind them. He looked like he really didn’t want to have to point his gun at her, but he didn’t really have a choice. Had it not been for him she would’ve killed Rogers without a second thought if given the chance.  
She still did not show any emotion as she was led into what was conference room and seated in one of the open chairs, not failing to notice that Zima did not follow them in.

“Hello Yelena,” came a soft and cool voice from the doorway. Yelena raised her eyes to meet the Black Widow as she pulled out the chair from across her and sat down gracefully, like a cat poised and calm.

Yelena didn’t say anything, she just continued to stare blackly at the redheaded woman.  
“Would you like some water?” she asked politely as she motioned towards a pitcher of water and a glass that sat to the side of them.

Yelena again did not say anything as a glass of water was poured and set down in front of her, she made no motion to grab it, she only stared at the clear substance through the glass.  
“You know,” she said looking at Yelena, “we’ve been looking for you for quite some time young lady.”

“I want to talk to the Asset,” said Yelena softly but adamantly.  
“Are you sure-,” began the woman, but Yelena forcefully cut her off.  
“I want to talk to him and only him,” she said staring the woman down. She wouldn’t talk to anybody else, she just wanted to talk to him.

“Okay,” the woman said raising her hands in surrender before she exited the room.  
A few seconds later the door opened again and the Asset walked in with his arms raised to show her he was weaponless as he slowly made his way towards the vacant seat.

Yelena only stared at him as he pulled the chair and sat down opposite of her, she wanted to talk to him but now she was unsure of what she would say to him.

“Natasha said you would only talk to me,” he said softly as he looked at her.  
Yelena didn’t even nod as she stared him down.

“Yelena?” he asked searching her face hoping to gain some sort of response.

“That is my name,” she said flatly and with no emotion.  
“Yelena,” he said testing the name out on his lips, “it’s a pretty name.”  
“A name is a name,” she said shrugging, she really didn’t think Yelena was a pretty name, it was just her name.  
“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but uh most people just call me Bucky,” he said quietly.

Yelena gaped at the mention of his name because she recognized it. James Buchanan Barnes was a member of the Howling Commandos and Captain Rogers best friend. He had been killed when he fell off a train trying to detain Dr. Arnim Zola. It was a name she had been taught in her studies, but never would’ve guess that he was the Asset. She remembered that he had been experimented on by Zola, probably given a bastardized version of the serum which helped him survive the fall. Hydra must’ve then found him and turned him into the Winter Soldier.

“You’re Captain America’s best friend and a former Howling Commando,” she said staring at him in a new light, “I read about you in my studies.”  
“You did?”  
“Yes,” she said folding her hands in her lap, “but they never told me you were the same person.”  
“So you knew that I was-?” he asked hoping that she didn’t.  
“Yes, I know,” she said crossing her arms and glancing down at his arm before saying, “I know that you’re a traitor.”  
“They forced me to become this,” he said defensively as he motioned towards his metal arm, “I never asked for this, for any of this.”  
“Everything Hydra did to you was for the greater good,” she spat out, “it doesn’t matter what you want or what you wanted then because sacrifices must be made, you of all people should know that, father,” she said with venom lacing her voice.

Bucky only gaped in shock at what she had just said. Obviously having grown up with Hydra she would have such a mentality, but that’s not what surprised him. He had had a feeling that she had known he was her father, but this just confirmed his greatest fear. She only knew the Asset as her father, not the man he used to be. She didn’t see Bucky Barnes, she only saw the Winter Soldier and that’s the only parent she had known, and for some reason it made Bucky’s chest hurt.

“So you know,” he stated blandly.

“Just because you’re my father doesn’t change my opinion of you,” she said hotly, “you’re a traitor and you deserve to die for what you’ve done.”  
“I didn’t know about you,” he whispered, “if I did-.”

“If you did?” she asked incredulously, “and what would you have done if you did? They put your mind through the blender so many times you couldn’t even remember that your name let alone that you were a person. So what makes you think that knowing would’ve changed anything?” she said crossing her arms, “even if you did know I don’t think it would’ve been enough for you to slip your leash,” she said practically seething at the teeth.

“You’re right,” he said staring her down from across the table, “I did slip my leash because I figured out that I was nothing but a dog to Hydra.”

He knew the statement was hurtful, but she was right. He was their dog, obeying every command thrown at him. But at least he figured it out and did indeed slip his leash because being a person is much better than being somebodies bitch.  
He watched as her face reddened with anger and her mouth hung open in shock that he had just said that to her, which was karma because she said it first.

“Traitors deserve to die,” she said strangely calm, “you and I both know that.”  
“That may be so,” he said raising his arms in question, “but who’s gonna do it? Correct me if I’m wrong, but Hydra’s pretty much fallen apart this past year, and honestly,” he said leaning in closer, “I’d like to see them try,” he said before getting up and walking as calmly as he could out the door.

Once he was outside the room he fell against the door and started taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart.  
This was indeed much worse than he originally thought.

He thought he would be able to do this, but he couldn’t even really stand to be in the same room with her for more than a few minutes. He felt bad for even thinking it, after all she was his and a parent should be able to handle their own child, right? Nope, not him. He was so out of his element with her and he did not know what to do. The way that she had talked to him had struck something a nerve with him and couldn’t handle it. He almost felt ashamed that a mere child could get to him so easily after everything he had been subjected to over the decades.

“You okay, man?” came Sam’s voice from where he had been watching unnoticed.  
Bucky nodded his head before pushing himself off the wall, slightly unnerved that someone had seen him like that.  
“I’ll be fine,” he grumbled trying to walk past the younger man only to have his arm caught.

“She’s gonna be okay man, maybe not right now, but eventually,” he said assuring him, “these sort of traumas take time and effort, but this is manageable. Some people may never fully heal, but it gets easier with time.”

“She isn’t like me,” said Bucky looking Sam in the eye, “I had a life before Hydra, I had a family and I had friends. I had good memories beneath it all to look too, but she,-“he said motioning towards the room, “she has nothing. This is her life and it’s all she’s ever known.”

“God I think I need a drink,” said Bucky as he ran a hand through his long hair.

“I thought you and Steve couldn’t get drunk anymore because of the serums?” asked Sam.

Bucky laughed bitterly at the thought, not being able to get drunk was another thing to thank Zola for, “yeah well doesn’t mean I can’t try.”

“Well it’s a good thing I can because I’m starting to think I may need a drink,” said Sam, “come on, I think I know where we can find some,” he said motioning for Bucky to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bucky are gonna bond over alcohol in the next chapter! i'm really excited to write it because their gonna have some pretty interesting convos, plus I feel like Sam needs a bigger part in this story because he's awesome.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short, but i had fun writing it ;) PTSD and serious anger issues in this chapter, you have been warned.

NM  
2015

Bucky followed Sam into what he presumed was Baron Fleischer’s office and watched as Sam headed straight for the liquor cabinet that was neatly tucked at the back of the room away from the general public’s view.

“Found it this morning when we cleared it out,” said Sam as he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses, “I’m sure Shield won’t mind.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” said Bucky accepting the glass and pouring himself some much needed alcohol. He knew it was pointless to try to get drunk with the serum that Zola gave him back in the war, but he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

“I saw what happened in there,” said Sam sinking down on the floor and making room so Bucky could join, “not pretty man.”  
Bucky huffed in agreement as he let the burning liquid enter into his mouth, regretting the whole situation.

“You know what they say about first impressions?” asked Bucky, “well I’m pretty sure we both blew it.”  
“She was spittin fireballs and you know it,” said Sam taking a sip, “I honestly wanted to slap the shit outta her.”

Bucky only tilted his head back in resignation, “she was right though.”  
“About what? You being a lap dog or deserving death?”

“I was their lap dog,” he took another sip, “for seventy years I was their lap dog. Obeying their every command without question and always coming back to them even when I had the chance to escape.”  
“They brainwashed and tortured you,” said Sam in his defense, “you had no other option.”  
“I killed people,” said Bucky, “and I can remember them, every single one.”

Sam had nothing to say because there was nothing he could say. Bucky had killed people and he wouldn’t be doing a favor by trying to reassure him at this point. Sometimes it was just better to let people come to term with things on their own. 

“For years they forced me to do things,” began Banes again, “they tortured me into compliance and made me fulfill their every whim and need. And after finding Steve again I thought that maybe I could start to recover from it all, start to get those lost memories back and live a somewhat normal life,” he said laughing, “but the thing about Hydra is that just when you think you’re free of them, something always happens just to remind you that you’re not.”

I’m never gonna be free of them,” he said after a long pause, “Not after everything they’ve done and taken from me.”

Sam could only lean his head back against the wall as Bucky let his feelings out. He was beginning to not trust himself with words as he felt the whiskey start to impair his judgment and thought process, the slight buzzed feeling taking over his body.

“But at least my life wasn’t always so bad,” drawled Bucky, “I grew up with two parents and a little sister, so life was good in that aspect,” said Bucky slightly smiling at the memory of his family.

“And I always had Steve, that little punk who was always too dumb to walk away from a fight.”  
“I didn’t know you had a sister,” pointed out Sam.

“Rebecca?” asked Bucky, “she was my little sister, she uh died a few years ago,” said Bucky with a longing look on his face as he remembered Becca. 

She had been an old woman when she died surrounded by her children, grandchildren, and great-children just a few months before the Triskelion. When Bucky had started to regain his memories of her he had looked her up in vain hoping that she was still alive only to be greeted with her obituary. He went to visit her the next day with a bouquet of her favorite flowers and a heartfelt goodbye. She was his little sister, she wasn’t supposed to die before him an old woman. He also visited his parent’s grave, Winifred and George Barnes at their family plot in Brooklyn. They all died thinking he was dead, his empty grave next to theirs was proof of that.

“What about you?” asked Bucky, “got any siblings?”  
“Just me, my parents could never deal with another,” said Sam, “but I did have my best friend Riley.”

“Riley?” asked Bucky curiously.  
“Yeah, we were brothers in every way but blood. When we were old enough we both joined the Air Force and became Para-rescuers,” said Sam taking another sip, “we served in the 58th rescue squadron.”

“Where is he now?”

“He died during a mission in Afghanistan, got hit by an RPG,” he said as he relived the memory, “all I could was watch.”  
Bucky sighed as he took another swig of his whiskey, the silence between the two was deafening as they both buried themselves deep in their thoughts.

“I imagine it was a lot like Cap watching you fall from that train,” said Sam out of the blue.

Bucky didn’t say anything as his mind was taken back to that day in 1944. When he was first starting to remember that was the memory that always plagued him. The feeling of free falling away from Steve only to be greeted by the bitter cold and the welcoming sleep that came with it. He had been dazed when he hit the ground but he could still clearly remember the searing pain in his arm and the blood that stained the snow red. Things from there was a blur but he could always feel himself being dragged and the faces of the Russian soldier who found him. He could remember being strapped down to a table as the rest of his arm was sawed off and Zola’s ugly face smiling at him. When his new arm had been put on he remembered being horrified by it. He tried to kill one of the scientists with it before they sedated him. 

When he woke up he was trapped inside a metal container before the ice got to him.

He remained like this for years before they thawed him out in the 50’s and wiped his mind continuously until he couldn’t remember who he was.   
And that’s when the Winter Soldier was born, out of ice and forgotten memories.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” said Sam as he observed Bucky’s clenched fists and strained breathing.  
“It’s fine,” Bucky said still breathing deeply before he opened his eyes.  
“You wanna talk about it?” asked Sam, his inner counselor and war veteran starting to show.  
“No, not now. Maybe one day, but I just can’t right now.”  
“Well when you’re ready you know where to find me,” said Sam respecting his wishes.

 

“I saw the tape,” interrupted Steve as he burst through the door to find his two friends sitting on the ground with an almost empty whiskey bottle between them.  
“Stevie! Come to join the party? We have an extra glass if you’d care to join us,” said Bucky as he pointed towards an empty glass on the table.  
“I’m serious Buck,” said Steve placing his hands on his hips just like Bucky’s ma used to do when she scolded him, “Are you okay?”  
“What? Me? I’m fine, just peachy,” said Bucky sarcastically as he took another swig.  
“No he’s not,” moaned Sam as sprawled himself out on the floor, the alcohol clearly having gotten to him.  
“Traitor,” mumbled Bucky as he kicked Sam in the ribs only to be met with a groan.  
“Alcohol isn’t gonna do you any good, Buck.”  
“No, but I think in this case I’m entitled to try,” said Bucky raising his glass in Steve’s direction.  
“What’s the point of alcohol if you can’t get drunk?” said Sam from his spot on the floor, his sentence becoming garbled near the end.  
“I’m not joking,” said Steve ignoring his inebriated friend on the floor, “I saw the tape so don’t just sit here and tell me you’re fine.”

“Okay Rogers, you really want to know what I’m thinking?”  
Steve only stared him down waiting for him to spill and Bucky sighed, setting his glass down.

“I was experimented on,” began Bucky, “I was forcefully injected with something that I never wanted in the first place just so Hydra could have their own super soldier. Then they did things to me, made me forget everything and turned me into a weapon for their own sick purposes. And then decided that they were gonna try to replicate Zola’s serum but then realized that they had no way to stabilize it because they no longer had the damned cube, so what did they do? They took my DNA without my knowledge or consent and created a kid with it because they thought she would be like me. But she wasn’t Steve, she was just a normal little human baby but apparently that was good enough for Pierce,” snarled Bucky, “and now I have a kid who’s even more fucked up then I am and every time I look at her it’s like a punch to the gut.”

Steve remained silent during the entire speech, his face twisted up in sadness at what his friend was having to deal with.  
“And if I want to try to drown my sorrows out over a good glass of whiskey then I’m gonna fucking do it,” snarled Bucky not even bothering to try and hide his anger as he poured himself another glass.

“Okay,” said Steve raising his hands in surrender, “do what you need to, Buck. I ain’t gonna stop you.”  
“You might want to get him out of here,” said Bucky looking down at Sam who was already happily snoring happily on the floor, “he’s gonna have a killer headache tomorrow,” said Bucky reminiscing about the hangovers he used to have before Zola’s serum.

“I’ll leave some aspirin by his bedside,” said Steve throwing the younger man over his shoulder before he made his way towards the door.  
“You might want to get some sleep tonight, tomorrow they’re gonna have a meeting to discuss what should be done about her,” he said staring Bucky in the face, “you might want to be there.”

“Will do,” said Bucky nodding his head.  
“See you in the morning,” said Steve walking out the door, leaving Bucky to his thoughts and whiskey.

Bucky was about to take another sip before he decided against it and put the glass down. Even though he wasn’t affected by alcohol anymore because of how fast his cells regenerated, he still knew when he had enough.

But even though he was done drinking, he wasn’t done contemplating his sucky life as he sat against the wall in Fleischer’s office.

So he stayed there until he succumbed to sleep in the wee hours of the morning.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for chapter 12, in which we will see our favorite entrepreneur, philanthropist, playboy millionaire save the day once again (well at least for Bucky).  
> Enjoy :)

NM  
2015

Bucky awoke the next morning on the floor of Fleischer’s office slightly dazed with a killer backache and a half-empty glass of whiskey. He hadn’t bothered to make it to a bed last night after drowning his sorrows into a bottle and he regretted it, but at least he didn’t have a hangover like Sam would.

He contemplated staying in his position on the floor but decided against it when he remembered the meeting they would be having soon to discuss what should be done about Yelena, and he was not about to miss out on that.

So he hoisted himself up off the floor and made his way down to the quarters Steve was currently making use of and knocked on the door. He didn’t know what time it was or when the meeting would start and he at least wanted to look presentable before the others.

“When’s the meeting?” he asked once Steve opened the door, freshly showered and clearly awake and alert.  
“In an hour,” said Steve as Bucky made his way into the tiny room.  
“Can I use the shower? They never cleared out a place for me to crash,” said Bucky scratching his head.  
“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks,” mumbled Bucky as he made his way into the tiny bathroom and started stripping and turned the water on.

He was quick in getting in and out and put his clothes that he had been wearing yesterday back on before he walked out with his long hair still dripping to catch a quick bite before they had to go.

“Where’s Sam?” asked Bucky as he raided the leftover food on the counter, eventually grabbing an apple and biting into it. He was genuinely concerned for their friend who had passed out quite drunk the previous night.

“Sleeping his hangover off,” said Steve, “left a bottle of water and aspirin next to him.”  
“He’ll need it,” snorted Bucky as he ate his apple.  
“How much did you guys drink last night?”  
“I don’t know, a lot,” guessed Bucky as he shrugged his shoulders.

The rest of the time was spent in quiet before they both made their way to what Shield was using as a conference room.

Bucky was tense as he entered the room to see all the people seated all here to decide his daughters fate. He remained silent as he took his seat next to Steve and Natasha, who gave him a nod of acknowledgment before returning to her conversation with Clint Barton.

“Is Sam coming?” asked Barton as he made contact with Steve.  
“Don’t count on it,” said Steve.

“Well if everyone’s here then I guess we may begin,” said a man who Bucky recognized as one of Shields higher ups. He seemed almost non-threatening with his grey hair and rather plain face, but Bucky knew not to judge whether or not someone was a threat based on their appearance, so he would remain cautious of this unknown man until proven otherwise.

They began to talk about the mission first and what information they had gathered from the people and files. Bucky mostly remained silent during this part as they drabbled on about reports and the Intel they had recovered. He was anxious to get to the part about Yelena but he remained composed and silent as they talked. 

To be honest, he felt a little disconnected from the people seated at the table. He knew them well enough to work with them, but when it came to light banter and polite conversation it was strained. 

Barton was a nice guy from what Bucky knew of him, always willing to help them out and give them his support. 

But Natasha Romanov was a completely different story. He knew that she had once been a Red Room Assassin, a Black Widow as they had dubbed their female students. He knew from personal experience that she was a force to be reckoned with, graceful but deadly all at the same time. But she had also proven herself to be a kind and selfless person. He remembered their fight on the bridge, how she done everything in her power to protect the innocent civilians that he had put in harm’s way while trying to complete his mission. And while she had kept the secret of Yelena from him, he couldn’t really stay mad at her for too long. 

“And now that we’ve discussed the mission, I would like to talk about-,” the man paused as he picked up a file from the stack and read over it, “Yelena, otherwise known as Project Little Winter.”

Bucky perked up in his seat and looked at the man intently as he held his daughters file.

“It says here,” he said flipping through the chart, “that she was a failed attempt at recreating the serum given to Barnes by Dr. Zola?” he said looking at Bucky.

“Originally they wanted to make a clone of James, but they found that to be too challenging so they turned to a more natural approach,” said Natasha breaking the silence.

“So she’s your daughter?” asked the man unceremoniously to Bucky.

Bucky frowned at the way the man had addressed him, it was almost accusingly, “Yes, that would be correct.”  
The man, whose name tag read Foreman, continued to flip through her file simply grazing over the words and pictures. Bucky didn’t know why he felt angry as he watched this man read Yelena’s file like he wasn’t that interested in her all that much, almost like he was skimming through the morning paper just because he was bored. 

“Unfortunately in these circumstances it would be best to not think of her that way. You see, Sergeant Barnes, while she may be genetically yours, we must not forget that she is a highly trained Hydra operative.”

Bucky knew what was happening as soon as Foreman started talking. They were gonna take her away from him because they viewed her as a threat, which he knew she was, but he was not about to let that happen.

“It wasn’t her choice, she was born into it,” said Bucky defensively.  
“Exactly,” said Foreman standing up straight, “she was raised by them making her by default loyal to them. I’m sorry Mr. Barnes but I see no other alternative.”

“You’re not taking her away,” growled Bucky as he started to stand up only to feel Steve’s hand on his arm.  
“And what exactly do you intend to do with her?” asked Clint as he watched things play out, sympathetic to Barnes as he himself was a father.

“Well we were thinking that maybe a psychiatric institution would be the best option for her at this point.”

“Absolutely not,” said Bucky firmly as he stared Foreman down. He had been in her situation once and he knew that that was the last thing they should do for her, and he’d be damned if this asshole did that to her.

“You can’t hold the fact that she was born into it against her,” said Natasha finally finding her voice, “I was raised in the Red Room but nobody seems to think I belong in a mental institution. I mean if that were the case then Banner should also be locked for what he did as the Hulk, and Clint for what he did while under Loki’s control, Barnes for what Hydra made him do, the twins for what they did,” she said crossing her arms to further her point.

“That’s different-,” Foreman started to say before the redhead cut him off again.

“And how exactly is it different? None of us are perfect, we’ve all done things that are questionable and some of us don’t exactly have the best track record, but you don’t see us getting locked up for it, and she shouldn’t be either.”

“And what do you suppose should be done about her?” asked Foreman as he challenged the younger woman, his anger showing through his tough exterior.

“Let her stay with me,” pleaded Bucky, “no one else is better equipped to handle her than me and I think it would be more beneficial to her.”

“I agree with James,” said Natasha stealing a glance Bucky, “she shouldn’t be locked up in some shady psychiatric hospital of your picking, she’d be better off with Bucky and Steve at this point.”

“And I know just the place where they can all stay,” came a foreign voice as Tony Stark made his way into the room in all his narcissistic glory.

“What? No welcoming committee? I’m so disappointed Capsicle,” said Tony winking at Barnes before taking a seat at the table.  
“Mr. Stark,” came Foreman’s unamused voice, “what an unexpected surprise.”

“Foreman!” said Tony looking surprised to see the other man, “how long has it been? New York, right? 2006? Tell me, how’s your wife?”  
“Lisa and I are divorced,” said Foreman as his face steadily grew red with anger. Bucky sense tension and if he had to guess, he would say that Stark was a little too friendly with the guys wife. 

“But that’s not what I’d like to discuss,” Foreman sounded like he was trying desperately to hide his anger and annoyance at the millionaire.

“Yes, let’s discuss the fact that you want to separate a father from his newly found daughter,” he said grasping his heart in fake pain, “how awful that you would even consider doing that. I mean I know you’re heartless Rob, but who knew you were that heartless?”

Bucky only groaned as he grasped his head in embarrassment and anger towards Stark. Steve only gave him a look that said ‘I want to punch Stark too but he may actually be helpful so don’t blow it,’ look. Bucky only groaned and tried to disappear into his chair the more the millionaire talked.

“Oh and please do tell us your wonderful plan to fix all of this,” said Foreman throwing his hands up in the air.

“I’m glad you asked Robert because yes I do have a plan,” he said looking at Steve and Bucky, “a plan that won’t separate Bucky and Bucky Jr,” he said to Bucky.

Oh boy did Bucky want to punch him, but he had a plan that would prevent Yelena from being taken away and he was desperate.  
“They can come live at the Tower,” he said it as if it was the most ingenious and brilliant plan ever comprised, “it has one of the best security systems in the world and I have many doctors at my disposal. I honestly can’t think of a more safe and healthy environment for her to be in, and she’d get to stay with Bucky and get the help she needs there.”

Bucky leaned forward in his chair as he listened to what Stark had to stay. He liked the idea and he prayed that Foreman would agree to the terms.  
Foreman seemed to be considering it as his brow wrinkled in thought and he bit his lip.

“I don’t think that would be the best option for Yelena, but just to humor you people I will ask my superior,” he said smugly, probably thinking his superior would side with him on this matter.

Bucky narrowed his eyes and glared at the man as he pulled out his phone and dialed his boss, his hatred for the man only growing.  
They watched as Foreman explained the situation to the person on the other side, growing agitated as he started to argue with him. 

“So that’s a yes?” asked Bucky anxiously as Foreman snapped his phone shut, trying to appear professional in his pouty mood.

“It seems as though Mr. Faust agrees with Stark’s proposal,” Said Foreman as he fixed his tie, “but she needs to see a Therapist and I must have your word that she’ll be watched carefully.”

Bucky almost leapt out of his seat in victory and smugness as he watched Foreman start to pack up his things.  
“I expect weekly reports and evaluations from the Therapist and if I see no improvement than I’m afraid we will have no other option,” he said a warning.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” yelled Tony after the retreating man.

Bucky breathed out a sigh of relief as he slumped against his chair realizing just how much of a close call that was.  
“What are you doing here Tony?” asked Steve as he stood up to face the other man.

“Well after your guys’ phone call a few weeks ago I started to become curious as to what you were trying to dig up. So I did some of my own research on the Levine’s, but I didn’t find much. Then you guys took out that base in D.C. and Shield consulted me to help sort through the files they gathered there, and that’s when I found it,” he said holding up a copy of the file on Yelena they had found at the other base, “I kinda put two and two together and when I heard you guys were down here I hightailed it down here as fast as I could. And it’s a good thing that I did.”

“Thank you Tony,” said Bucky standing up and making his way over to him, “you have no idea how much this means to me.”  
Bucky still kept his distance though because of what he had to Tony’s parents all those years ago and he still hadn’t forgiven himself for it, and he highly doubted that Tony had either.

“Yeah well you definitely owe me one after this,” he said looking pointedly at Bucky.  
Bucky only nodded awkwardly as Tony and Steve started to have a conversation, not sure what he should do in the meantime.  
“Hey,” came Natasha’s voice from behind him as she grasped his shoulder in a friendly manner, “that worked out better than I thought it would.”

“You’re telling me,” he said as he looked down at the pretty red-headed woman who he had almost killed on several occasions.  
“It’s good that she’ll be with you and not in some mental ward being treated like a broken doll because I can assure that’s the last thing she needs.”

“She needs to be shown that there’s more to life than what she’s been handled,” said Natasha pulling him aside, “but most importantly she needs to be treated like a human being, not like some disposable object or toy.”

“I know,” said Bucky scrubbing a hand over his scruffy face, “I’m just not sure if I’ll be the best at this.”  
“No one’s perfect, all you can do is try to be the best that you can be.”  
“And what if the best isn’t good enough for her?”  
“Welcome to parenthood, Barnes,” she said staring him down, “it’s messy and far from perfect but I’ve been told that it is strangely fulfilling.”

Bucky only looked down at her with a strange expression gracing his features before chuckling slightly at the humor in it all.  
If someone had told the Bucky of 70 years ago that he would be talking with a Russian Assassin about how to raise his Hydra made and grown daughter, he would’ve laughed in their face before asking them just how much they had had to drink because this was far from how he saw himself in the future.

The Bucky of WWII was too focused on making it out of the war with Steve and the Howling Commandos alive to think about his future, and if he had this definitely would not be it.

“Strangely fulfilling,” he said with a grunt, “I’ll let you know how that turns out.”  
“Please do,” she said with a curt smile before she turned and walked out of the room, leaving Bucky on his own.  
By that time both Clint and Tony had as well left, leaving only Bucky and Steve alone in the room.

“God, they were gonna take her Stevie,” said Bucky slumping down in his chair.  
“I know, but we stopped them,” said Steve making his way over, “their not gonna get their grimy hands on her if I can help it.”  
“Sometimes you can be such a sap,” said Bucky smiling at his best friend.  
“Only when it comes to you,” said Steve jokingly.  
“And Yelena,” argued Bucky.  
“Well of course,” said Steve, “she was family the moment I found out she was yours.”  
“Really?”

“Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind,” said Steve very seriously as he stared at Bucky.  
“Huh?” Bucky asked genuinely confused at what was being said.  
“Crap, you haven’t seen Lilo and Stitch yet,” said Steve under his breath more to himself.  
“What are you talking about Punk?”  
“Never mind, it’s nothing.”

Bucky only stared at Steve still confused as ever as to what nonsense Steve was spewing. Sometimes Steve and the others still confused him with their 21st century talk and references that made no sense to him.

“It’s just a movie that Natasha made me watch, I’ll have to show it to you sometime.”  
“A movie that Natasha recommended? I think I might pass,” joked Bucky.  
“Ha ha, it actually wasn’t that bad.”

“Really? Maybe we’ll have to watch it together sometime,” said Bucky standing up, “but before we do that I’m gonna hit the sack,” he said grabbing his back and grimacing at the back ache.

Steve smirked at him like the little punk that he was, “maybe next time you try to drown yourself in whiskey you’ll have the decency to at least make it to a bed.”

“Shut up,” groaned Bucky over his shoulder as he walked out of the room and towards the room he had had requested set up for him.  
But he decided to take a little detour before he would do that because he felt like he really had to do this and get it over with before he chickened out all completely.

He made his way through the base until he stood in front of the door to Yelena’s quarters just staring at the markings on the outside of the door.

Natasha had sent him the number to her room via text late last night and he hadn’t gotten around to it until now, and he felt as though he had to do this even though he didn’t really know why.

He carefully reached down and turned the knob and entered into the small quarters that had belonged to Yelena since she had arrived here in 2005 and entered.

The room in itself was clean and sterile, reminding Bucky of the bunkers that he had been forced to stay in in Europe during the war. The only thing unkempt about it was the small unmade cot that sat against the far wall.  
The room was rather bland and boring, not like the room of a teenage girl.

Bucky remembered how his sister’s room was always messy, with stockings and clothes thrown about and all the latest jazz albums sitting around. He smiled as he remembered how his Ma would yell at her to clean it up and that if she didn’t she would trip and break her neck, which Becca would only roll her eyes at before she would set to work cleaning up the hazardous place she called her room. 

He found himself missing the sound of his Ma yelling at them, what he wouldn’t give just to hear it one last time.  
In that moment he would have done anything just to be with his family again, but life was cruel and they had all died probably wishing that they could see him one last time, they never knew all those years what really happened to him.

It was just him and Yelena, and of course the many nieces and nephews he had never bothered to meet.  
The walls were white and the floors were some type of linoleum tiles and the only furniture in there was a cot, a dresser, and a hamper.  
There were no windows so it made the room dark with only the low lighting and there were no type of decorations or pictures, there wasn’t even anything on the metal box that served as a dresser.

Bucky walked further in hoping to find something of hers in there that was personal so he could at least know assure himself that she was an individual, which he felt was silly because of course she was a person, but at the same time she really wasn’t.

He opened the closet to be greeted with a similar sight of neatness and order with how she had arranged her clothes and shoes.  
There were only a few shirts hanging up that all looked to be the same and only a few pairs of shoes that were bland and practical. There was also a little mirror which he assumed she used to get ready in the morning and a comb sitting neatly on the shelf. He was although surprised to see something that looked like a blue dress hiding behind the mirror, and upon further inspection did he realize that it was indeed a blue dress. He held it out in front of him as he looked over the knee length dark blue dress that reminded him of a dress Becca had once owned.

He wondered why it was shoved to the back of her closet instead of hanging up, but he didn’t dwell on it as he refolded it and stuck it back behind the mirror.  
He sighed heavily as he sat down on her bed and looked around yet again at his daughter’s room, slightly appalled that it was even hers to begin with.

He was about to get up after a few minutes when something under her pillow caught his eye. He was surprised to find that it was a black and white picture of him that had been hiding under it.

He didn’t remember when it had been taken, but it must’ve been sometime before he shipped out to the Italian front considering the fact that he was in full dress uniform at the time it was taken. He was looking away from the camera but his face was clearly still visible. He also realized that it was the same picture that had been in his file, the little black and white Polaroid that had been clipped at the bottom under the picture of him in cryo-stasis.

He wondered where she got it and why she even had it in the first place.

Did somebody give it to her or did she find it? Was she given access to his file? But that didn’t make any sense considering that she hadn’t known that the Asset and James Buchanan Barnes were the same person, so just exactly where did she get it from?

He decided that he would have plenty of time to ask her that in the foreseeable future, so he pocketed the little picture in his coat and took one last look around at her room before he walked out and closed the door and locked it. 

He couldn’t see anything of value in there that would merit her saving and if she did she must have hidden it well.  
He would just have to ask her before they left for New York, which would be later that day seeing as everything of importance was being packed up and shipped back to the Triskelion for further examination and Stark was anxious to get back for whatever reason.

He better go and visit her and see how she was doing even though she would probably rip his head off just like yesterday, but he had to try. He knew what she was like now and he was prepared for whatever she was going to spit at him again, and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna go runnin with his tail between his legs like he previously done.

He also felt as though he owed her some sort of explanation for what was going on, she needed to know that she was going to be ok even if she felt like she wasn’t going to be. All this time she must’ve thought that Shield was going to take her away and lock her up, but that wasn’t going to happen. 

He was going to go and see her, but before he did that, he really needed a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as of right now i'm kinda playing with the idea of turning this into a series and writing a few prequels and sequels, like one about what Zola did to Bucky and then a short story about Hydra's attempts to recreate the serum after WWII (resulting in Yelena's birth). Anyways, there was ch 12, haven't started ch 13 yet, but hopefully I'll get it done soon. :P


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 up and chapter 14 soon to come ;)  
> PS sorry for the short chapter

NM  
2015

“You sure you want to watch in on this?” asked Steve as they made their way towards the conference room. They were on the way to watch in on Baron Fleischer’s interrogation because Bucky had insisted that they go, and Steve had reluctantly agreed to accompany him.   
Bucky nodded, “I have to do this Stevie.”

Steve frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. He knew this was something that Bucky wasn’t gonna let go and he understood that it was something he needed to do. But Steve just wished that he would slow down a bit instead of chasing down this mess because he knew that his friend was hurting and the only thing he would gain from this was more hurt. But he understood his friends need to know. He needed to know what all they did in this sick conquest to recreate the serum, and why they would do this to Yelena and what they hoped to gain. And it wasn’t just Bucky that had to know, it was Steve too. This was his best friend’s daughter and that by default made her family and there wasn’t anything Steve wouldn’t do for family.

“Okay,” Steve said softly as he grasped his friends shoulder, smiling softly to show his support.  
Baron Fleischer was by definition an asshole. The way he held himself and even the way he looked just made Steve want to deliver a swift punch to his pretty little face. His hair was blond and still somehow perfectly styled and his blue eyes glared defiantly at them as they entered. 

“Would you look at what the cat dragged in,” his smooth voice hinted a slight eastern European accent and was full of sarcasm as he took in the two men’s appearance, “Captain America and the Winter Soldier.”  
“Hello Fleischer,” said Steve darkly as he pulled out a chair and swiftly took his seat, Bucky doing the same as well with a deadly glare on his face.

“I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Rogers, but I’m afraid that under these circumstances it’s not,” said Fleischer smiling at him sarcastically apologetic.  
“Hmmm,” said Steve staring at him before opening the file placed before him.  
“And look who you brought with you,” said Fleischer looking over at Bucky and then back at Steve, “the Asset himself, except you don’t call yourself the Asset anymore do you?” he said directing his question to Bucky.

“My names Bucky,” he said surprisingly calm considering the situation.  
“No it’s not,” Fleischer’s eyes widened as he stared Bucky down, “the Asset doesn’t have a name.”

Bucky’s nostrils flared and the vein in his neck started throbbing, his hands clenched tightly as he breathed deep trying to calm himself down. He obviously did not appreciate being told he wasn’t even a person by this asshole.

“I’m not him anymore.”  
“Really?” asked Fleischer in mock surprise, “so you’re just going to shake off your training and pretend to be a person when you know you’re nothing but a weapon?”

Steve’s eyes shot to Bucky and silently communicated with him telling him not to fall prey to this man’s words. But he knew Bucky wasn’t gonna let someone as petty as this Baron get under his skin.

“That’s enough,” said Steve reviewing the file, “now we’re going to ask you some questions and you are going to answer them truthfully,” said Steve threateningly as he stared the other man down, daring him to challenge his authority.

“Wise decision, now let’s get down to business,” said Steve closing the file and sliding forward to rest on his arms, “tell us about Yelena.”  
“Lena? What do you want to know about her?”   
“How about everything,” said Bucky.  
“She was a failed experiment to recreate your serum,” said Fleischer looking at Bucky.  
“We are already know that,” growled Bucky, “I want to know what you did to her.”  
“Personally?”

Bucky nodded, his eyes growing dangerously dark.

“Well if you insist,” said Fleischer sadistically as a wide smile crossed his lips.

“When Lena first came here, she was so young and innocent,” said Fleischer as his eyes traveled away, “she always had a stuffed bear with her and she would drag it around everywhere she went, and I thought it was cute. She was such a beautiful little girl with her big brown eyes and her stuffed bear and I couldn’t help but be attracted to her,” he said as a sick smile crossed his lips.

Bucky’s breathing started to become labored and his metal fist was so tightly grasping the leg of the table that it left finger indents. His mouth was pulled back into a snarl and his eyes dared this man to continue.

“And the more she grew the more attracted I became to her,” said Fleischer leaning in, “but then she hit puberty and 0h-,” he said leaning back and breathing in deeply, “she was soooo beautiful with her slender little body and I just couldn’t help myself.”

Bucky didn’t need to hear anymore to know what this asshole had done to his daughter and he soon found himself lunging across the table, his eyes filled with red hot rage as he threw him to the ground and used his metal fist to pound his face in.

He didn’t care how hard or how many times he punched the guy because he really just wanted to kill the guy for what he did.   
He felt Steve’s strong arms grasp around his arms and pull him back and he tried to fight it.

“Buck!” cried Steve, “Calm down!”   
Steve finally managed to pry Bucky off of Fleischer and held him tight as he led him out of the room with Bucky still screaming and fighting him.

It was a wonder that Fleischer was even conscious after the face beating he took, but his maniacal laughter could be heard as Bucky was forcefully escorted out of the room.

“Hey,” said Steve pushing him against the wall as soon as they were out of the room, “calm down!”  
“Did you hear what he said? What he did- he did to-,” gasped out Bucky, finding himself to talk clearly because of his anger.  
“I heard him,” said Steve, “I heard what he said.”  
“He did that-,” Bucky cried out as he banged his head against the wall, “to Yelena.”

Steve only shook his head, his eyes looking so lost as he looked at Bucky.  
Bucky slid down the wall and came to a sitting position and put his head to his knees in an effort to calm his nerves and to catch his breath.

“He did that to my daughter, Stevie,” said Bucky staring up at him, his eyes looking so lost, “he did that to her, and I couldn’t stop it.”  
“No, no don’t say that,” said Steve sternly, “this isn’t your fault Buck, you didn’t even know about her. Don’t blame yourself for something you didn’t even know about, you’re not at fault here.”

“It’s him,” growled Bucky, “him, Pierce, Zola, Levine, all of Hydra,” he said closing his eyes, “this is all their fault. They think they can do anything and get away with it and I just want to be free of their shit for once in my life, but I’m never going to be.”

“No,” said Steve taking his seat next to him, “I’m afraid we’ll never be free of them. But I’m still gonna fight because while we may never free of them we can at least make sure that other people are.”

“Yelena’s young enough,” began Steve, “and while this will always be one aspect of her life, there’s still so much out there for her. And it’s our job to make sure she has the future.”

“And if she’s anything like her father then she’ll pull through because she’s a Barnes,” said Steve grasping his shoulder, “and the Barnes family are all a bunch of stubborn mules.”

Bucky snorted at Steve’s words, “you sure bout that Punk? I’m pretty sure it’s the Rogers that are all a bunch of stubborn mules.”  
“Like when you were adamant to sign up for the Army and you kept lying on the damn form,” laughed Bucky, “said you were from Ohio.”  
Steve snorted as Bucky chuckled at the memory, his face looking genuinely happy as his mind took him back 70 years before they had gotten involved with Hydra. Those were happier times for the both of them and while they could never go back, they could at least remember.

Bucky stopped smiling and his face went serious, “I should go talk to Yelena.”  
Steve paused and stuffed his hands into his pockets, “should I come with?”  
Bucky frowned, “yeah, I mean if you want to-,”  
“Okay.”  
“You’ll come?”  
“Of course I’ll come,” said Steve standing up, “after all don’t you think it’s time I meet my best friends daughter?”

Bucky smiled sadly, “I suppose so.”  
Bucky pulled himself to his feet and they both set off towards the room where Shield had put Yelena for the night. Steve hadn’t met Yelena properly yet and he was a bit apprehensive to do so. He had just watched her talk with Bucky and it hadn’t been pretty considering that the other man had gone and tried to get drunk. He had been so flabbergasted watching the whole scene that all he could was watch Bucky as he ran out of the room and into the arms of whiskey. But he had to do this, for Bucky because he knew that Bucky would do the same for him if it were him in this situation.

So he said nothing and held his head high as they made their way down the corridor, because Bucky would do the same…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to turn this into a series and i've even begun on two other stories! So feel free to check them out.  
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14, just because I love you guys :D  
> PS sorry if my last updates have felt like they were being dragged out because I did that intentionally so that we can see more of the confusion and awkwardness... sorry lol.  
> I am also putting this story on hiatus because I need a little break from the story and collect my thoughts on where i'm going with this.

Bucky wouldn’t admit it, but Steve could see the anger and sadness rolling off him as they made their way to the room where Yelena was currently being held. But Steve didn’t bother to point it out to him considering he would be angry and sad if he was in his position. 

After interrogating Fleischer and finding out that he had done that to Yelena he had no right to deny Bucky his emotions, but he was going to be there for him. But it was hard because while he had a good idea of what happened to Bucky when he was with Hydra, he could never truly comprehend just what had been done to him there. He had been tortured, his identity taken from him and then having his daughter taken from him and then this being done to her. 

It was sickening and it made Steve’s blood boil in absolute rage. The man that he gotten back was broken beyond recognition, only a glimmer of the man he knew in Brooklyn showing through. But after some time he had started to heal and Steve was over the moon when he started to be the old Bucky again, but then they cleared out that base in Ukraine and everything changed.

Bucky was his best friend and they had been through a lot together over the course of their crazy and confusing lives whether it was fighting off bullies in the streets of Brooklyn or blowing Europe up trying to get to Schmidt. They were more than best friends, they were brothers in all ways but blood and they would always be there for the other in their time of need, and right now Bucky needed him. He didn’t say it like the stubborn mule he was, but Steve just knew. He could see it as plain as day even if the words were not spoken out loud. Bucky needed him, now maybe more than ever and he would be there.

Steve kept a watchful and observant eye on Bucky as he followed him into the room to see Yelena sitting at the table with her head down. She raised her head to stare at them blankly as they both came to stand in front of her. Her thick, long brown hair hung loose and framed her inquisitive almond shaped brownish hazel eyes. She didn’t look like Bucky all that much, except for the small but discernible cleft in her chin which was barely noticeable. She was rather petite all around, and if Steve had to guess she was about the height he was before the serum if not smaller. She seemed to have not one ounce of fat on her, instead she was lean and muscular which would be attributed to the training she endured in Hydra’s hands. 

She was a strikingly beautiful young woman and Steve’s heart panged at the sight of her. She was so young and innocent looking, except for her eyes. Her eyes spoke an entirely different story than the rest of her, the abuse she was forced to endure showing through. They looked hard and worn down, much like the eyes of a soldier who had seen more than anyone should ever have too.

It made Steve’s blood boil because she shouldn’t be wearing those eyes. She was just a little girl, Bucky’s little girl and no little girl should ever have the eyes of a soldier. Just what had Hydra done to her?  
“Hello Yelena,” said Bucky in a calm and soft voice.

Yelena remained silent as he she stared at him blankly before moving her eyes over to Steve. She looked at the two of them, assessing them and probably figuring her safety with them in the room.  
“Yelena,” said Bucky as stepped closer to Steve, “this is Steve.”  
“I know,” she blankly said staring at Steve with mixed emotions.  
Steve felt uncomfortable under her hard gaze and shifted his weight awkwardly as he turned to look at Bucky who seemed just as lost as him with his words.  
Steve knew that Bucky was really trying to keep himself together, and he was impressed at the way he was handling the situation.  
“It’s uh nice to meet you,” said Steve politely with a smile to her. She only continued to glare at him, not bothering to show courtesy or politeness to him.

“I assume you are here to tell me what will be done with me,” she said turning to look back at Bucky hardening her face.  
“Yes,” said Bucky scratching behind his head, “we have talked it over and we’ve decided that you’ll stay with me and Steve in New York.”

Yelena a surprised look crossed her face before it was replaced with her legendary cold and emotionless face. She was trying not to show emotion because to her it was a weakness, and there was no room for weakness in Hydra.  
“Why New York?” she asked crossing her arms.  
“Tony Stark offered to let us come live in the tower there,” said Bucky.  
“Tony Stark?” she asked, her right eyebrow raised, “the Iron man?”  
“Yeah, unless you know any others who own a metal suit with that name,” said Steve.

Yelena stared down in her lap weighing the importance of their words.  
“Why would he do that?” she asked.  
“I don’t know,” said Steve looking at Bucky, “I guess you’ll have to ask him that.”  
Yelena considered his words quietly, “when do we leave?”

“Tonight,” said Bucky staring down at her, his eyes softening upon seeing her trying to hide being distraught. He too was distraught, but Bucky had always had a way of hiding how he really felt and if you didn’t know him like Steve did, then you could easily fall for the act.  
She simply nodded and cast her eyes downward and it made Steve’s chest hurt. In that moment she looked so scared and confused, and why shouldn’t she? 

Everything about her life was changing and all she could was sit silently as her life was completely torn up from the roots.  
“Is there anything you wish to take with you?” asked Bucky softly.  
Yelena perked up and looked like she was trying to decide if there was anything worth taking.  
“No,” she said beginning to twiddle her thumbs.

Bucky frowned as he remembered the blue dress sitting at the back of her closet. It was a rather nice dress, probably the nicest article of clothing she owned. So why didn’t she want it?  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes, I am sure.”

“Well okay then,” said Bucky, his brows scrunched up in confusion.  
Steve wanted to grimace at how horribly awkward this conversation was. Bucky was trying, but he was so out of his element and Yelena was at least being somewhat polite, but at the same time she was reserved and emotionless. And Steve felt like he was sandwiched between the two and their failed communication attempts.

“What will happen to Baron Fleischer?” asked Yelena breaking the silence and interrupting Steve’s thoughts. He could visibly see Bucky beside him clenching his fists tightly and his lips drawn in a angry scowl.

“He’s going to be tried in a court of law,” said Steve, beating Bucky to the punch, “and then he will convicted and sent to a Federal Prison.”  
Yelena frowned, “what are the charges?”  
“Espionage, treason, criminal intent,” said Steve listing off only a few from the list. There was a lot more to the list including sexual assault and exploitation of a minor, but Steve didn’t dare mention that, “and a few other things.”

“What you consider crimes, Hydra sees as necessities,” said Yelena, coming to Fleischer’s defense, “he only did what needed to be done for the greater good.”  
Steve’s heart sank and Bucky’s shoulders sagged at her words. But he shouldn’t be that surprised, she had after all been raised by them. So of course their indoctrination would be deeply ingrained in the folds of her mind.

“The greater good?” asked Bucky, “Hydra isn’t doing all this for the greater good,” he said coming closer to her, his face red.  
He looked positively angry, but not at her. He was angry that they had told her it was for the greater good, when in fact it was not.

“Hydra doesn’t care about anything but their own sick agenda and their willing to use anything and everyone to achieve that. They don’t care what happens to the planet or the people or you,” he said motioning to her, “they only used you and when you weren’t going to be of use anymore they would’ve disposed of you and gotten a newer, shinier toy to play with,” he said gritting his teeth.

“He’s right,” said Steve coming forward, “Hydra only used you like they used him,” he said looking at Bucky, “but they can’t do that to you anymore, Yelena. They have no power here, you’re free of them and you no longer have to listen or do as they say.”

“You’re words are lies,” hissed Yelena, “I owe my existence to Hydra, without them I would not exist and you know that.”  
“We’re not denying your existence,” said Bucky shaking his head and fighting away tears because he knew she was right. Hydra did indeed create her and he could not be angry at them for that. He was only angry because of what they had done to her, “but just because they created you doesn’t make them good people. Yes they created you, but they didn’t do it because they cared about you.”

“Oh and I supposed you do?” she asked challenging him.  
“Yes,” said Bucky defiantly, “more than anything,” he said pausing to take a deep breath, “I didn’t know about you and if I had I don’t know what I would’ve done, but I know now,” he took another deep breath,” And to me it doesn’t matter how you were brought into this world, I’m just sorry that I didn’t do anything to get you out of there.”

Yelena looked like a deer in the headlights at her father’s words. She was surprised because she did not expect such a deep and meaningful response. Yelena had been trained to know when someone was lying, and she knew he was not lying. He honestly did care about her and that scared her more than anything. 

Nobody had ever cared about her like that, and she was confused as to how she should deal with that.  
“You,” she said looking him in the eye, “care about me?”  
He didn’t look away as he nodded, “more than you could imagine.”

Yelena’s eyes darted over to Steve looking confused and lost all at the same time, he could tell this was probably the first time someone had told her and really meant it.  
“Even without the serum?”  
Yelena had grown up hearing that she was a failure because she was just normal. She didn’t have any of Bucky’s serum because she was the product of a failed experiment, so why would he care when no one else would?

Bucky looked so sad because of course Hydra would tell her that she was failure, and why would anyone care about a failure? His own daughter thought so little of him simply because she was normal, but she couldn’t see that that did not matter to him at all. She could be bald and green and that wouldn’t change his love for her one bit. So even without the serum, he still loved her more than she could imagine.

“Even without the serum,” said Bucky with a deadly serious look on his face.  
“But,” she paused, “why?”  
“Yelena,” he said taking her hand into his own flesh one, “I don’t see you as any less because you don’t have it and neither should you.”  
Yelena looked down to their joined hands, but did not make any attempt to remove hers.  
“None of us see you any differently,” said Steve stepping forward, “serum or no serum.”

They must’ve shaken something in her because her eyes were visibly starting to water, but she blinked it away and gently removed her hand from Bucky’s grip.  
“I should go pack,” she said quietly rubbing her eye. She was trying to change the topic of the conversation because she no longer felt comfortable.  
“I’ll come with you,” said Bucky standing up.

She simply nodded as she stood up and walked over to him as he held the door open for her.

Steve was going to follow, but he felt like maybe this was supposed to be a private moment between the two, so he stayed back and watched them leave.  
Besides, he had some packing to do anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is more of Yelena and Bucky bonding time (if that's what you call it).  
> Thanks for reading my lovelies! And don't forget to check out my other stories in the series!


	16. chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news! I am not dead and i have managed to find my motivation!

NM  
2015

Yelena knew there wasn’t much she was going to want out of her room, but she still decided to go and at least get her clothes and the picture that she always had hiding under her pillow. She knew it was silly, having that picture of him in her room. She guessed it was because she was only a little girl when she had found out he was her father and had unrealistic expectations and desires. She had always been drawn to the Asset ever since she met him as a girl all those years ago in D.C., or as she liked to call him, Zima.

The man who had no name and slept in a coffin of ice and had an arm made entirely of metal was always a topic of fascination for her. But then she saw what Pierce had done to him, and it scared her more than anything in the world. It had scared her so bad that she would nightmares that would wake her in the middle of the night sweating and crying as the sound of his screaming filled her head. 

But she kept silent about it because she knew that what she saw was not meant for her young eyes. But the older she got the more she saw the importance of what was being done to him, and she no longer argued with it. In the words of Director Pierce, he was a weapon and could never be thought of as a man, and she agreed. She used to look up to him, everything he had accomplished for Hydra and always had a longing to be like him. Maybe she thought if she was like him in some twisted, warped way he would be proud of her. And the more she thought on it the more she realized it was because she had always craved the approval of others, but he would never approve of her. 

She was a fool to think he would ever be proud of her, a pitiful orphan who was always insecure about herself. So she had resigned herself to never getting his attention a long time ago, so it had come as quite a surprise when he actually told her he cared about her. And not only did he say it, but he truly did mean it and that scared her.   
Nobody had ever cared about her in that way before, except maybe Fleischer but it wasn’t like she invited his company. While she liked him once upon a time, she had found herself starting to get more and more annoyed with him over these past couple of years. But he did not care for her in that way or as much as her “father.”

And now he was walking beside her as she walked to her old quarters so she could collect her things before she moved in with him and his best friend in New York. This whole situation was weird, but she tried not to let that bother her as she walked. She could feel him keeping pace with her behind him, like a silent shadow stalking his prey. He said nothing and she was quite happy to keep it that way seeing as she didn’t have the courage to actually hold another conversation with him at this point. 

Her room was small and sterile seeing as she only had a few possessions and it was as well clean so everything would be easy to find and put away. She walked over to her closet and took the very few shirts she had and tossed them onto the bed next to where Bucky had taken a seat and then grabbed her hairbrush and tossed it over with the rest of them. She wasn’t going to take the mirror considering she could easily get a new one and it was too big and bulky to take with her, but she did reach down and grabbed her plain white tennis shoes as well as the pair of combat boots she owned. 

Then she saw the blue dress that Fleischer had given her peeking out behind the mirror and she picked it up and stared at it for a few seconds debating what she should do with it. For some reason she hated the dress and hadn’t even worn it since that night with Fleischer, that’s why it was tucked away out of sight and out of mind.   
She noticed that Bucky was staring at her inquisitively from the bed, probably wondering if she was gonna take it or not. 

“You gonna pack that?” he asked, his voice breaking the silence.  
Yelena bit her lip as she caressed the blue fabric, she knew she wouldn’t ever wear it and she didn’t even want it at that point.  
“No,” she said refolding it and placing it on the shelf before turning to her packing.

Bucky grabbed her stuff and started to put them into a black bag that he had conveniently on him and she grabbed the last pair of pants and handed them to him.  
She then quietly walked over to her pillow while he was busy packing her clothes and reached under it for the polaroid she had stashed under there only to find it gone. She got onto the floor and looked under the cot only to find nothing.

She was confused because she knew she had put it under her pillow, but she didn’t show that to him. She didn’t want him to know she had a picture of him because that was weird and embarrassing.  
“Looking for something?” he asked as he watched her stand up.  
“Thought I dropped something,” she mumbled as she took the black bag out of his hands.  
Bucky frowned, “if you want I could help you look for whatever it is you dropped?”  
Yelena shook her head, “No, I’m good.”  
“You sure?” he asked, his right brow raised, “I mean it’s gotta be round here some-.”  
“I said it’s fine,” she said rather harshly as she glared at the man.

Bucky clamped his mouth shut and reverted to staring at her while she packed. Yelena felt a guilty twinge upon saying that to him while he had been nothing but kind to her, but she just kind of wished he would leave her alone and stop bugging her.   
She felt like he felt like he needed to be fatherly towards her because she was his daughter and that was his responsibility. But while Yelena knew that he was her biological father, he couldn’t really ever be a father to her because that’s just not how this shit worked. Just because she shared 23 chromosomes with him didn’t make him instantly responsible for her. Yelena was strong, she could take herself without his or anyone else’s help. Besides, why would he ever want her for a daughter? Yelena was failure and she felt like she could never be anything more. Her entire existence was failure, so what else in life could she be?  
She knew that Bucky had said that he cared about her, but obviously be must be delusional or he just didn’t know her well enough. If he really knew about her, he’d run far away and never return.

So that’s why Yelena decided that she wasn’t going to let Bucky or anyone else get close because she didn’t want to be rejected by anyone ever again.   
Yelena didn’t even bother to look back at her room one last time before she and Barnes made their way out and toward the hangar where Steve would be waiting for them. She couldn’t help but notice the stars she got from the other Shield Agents and she tried her hardest not to let it bother her. She didn’t care what they thought of her or what kind of treatment she would get from them, but she most certainly did not want their pity. She was above them and she would never let herself forget that. 

She didn’t know what awaited her in New York or how her life was going to be now that her “father” was in her life. They would without a doubt try to rehabilitate her and make her fit in with society, but Yelena was not born to be normal like everyone else. She was born to be superior to them and even though she would never accomplish that, she could still hold herself to a higher standard than them.

She would not capitulate. Not now. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it is short. Longer chapters coming up!


End file.
